How to Survive Long-Distance Relationships

Decide whether or not you want to pursue a long distance relationship, and once you have decided, how to survive it.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A meaningful relationship
• Distance

1. Whether you are a man or a woman, relationships are difficult. We all know that, but hey, I'm not here to bore you. I just thought we could use some context. Well, as you might have guessed by the title, this article is to help all you individuals out there who need advice and maybe even a little support about long term relationships. You can read. Yay. And 'there there'. Now comes the hard stuff. Before we get into the meat of this, I will advise all of you who are in relationships that are either (A) shallaw, aka based on purely physical criteria, (B) less than four months in, or (C) unsure of whether or not you actually like the person, to leave immediately. In fact, you probably might want to break up with your partner at this point, cus trust me, it isn't looking good. Except for (A). Can't completely condemn a little fun. But then again, if you were any of the above you probably wouldn't be here reading this article.

2. First of all, I've been in a long term relationship for about 6 months now. The first and foremost nugget of wisdom regarding long distance is that you must THINK. Think about how much you like/love your partner and decide on whether you really can't live without this person, because chances are, you can, and if you can, then this puts a whole new meaning on there are other fish in the sea. In fact, there are other nice, humorous, and attractive fish in the small fish bowl you will be/are in. So REALLY think about it.

3. Once you have decided that you cannot live without this person romantically attached to you, you must consider trust. Trust is a huge, if not the largest factor in normal relationships. It takes at least four times that trust and contentment towards your partner to feel comfortable with the idea of long distance. Trust is, in my opinion, the most important factor to consider for the main reason that it fluctuates. As you, your partner, or maybe even both of you relocate, you will change and adapt to your new environments, and this change does not always sit easily with all associated. There will be new people you don't know who will become good important friends in your new lives, and it can be very threatening, and problems may ensue. But because these threats present themselves does not mean you cant work it out. So figure out how much you trust them.

4. Be prepared for many many many cold showers. The most immediate drawback to long distance is that they are a long distance away. Now, while considering it in your head, it probably doesn't seem that bad. But, you aren't considering that while you're thinking about it, you had some kind of contact with your partner within the week, or yesterday. You might even be having sex with them right now. My point is, since youre still attached to this person now, while you're still physically together, it becomes difficult to truly comprehend no sex or contact of that nature for a long long time. And this is the cue for all (A)'s to leave.

5. Once you have decided that this person is too important to you to let trivial things such as physicality get in the way, you are ready to start. Now, let me say, the first couple of weeks will seem completely horrible. It'll be lonely and extremely inconvenient, and From here there are two courses of action you can take. 1 You can either talk to your special friend very frequently through phone, webchatting, and/or IM. 2 You can talk to your partner less often, at convenient times of the day/week for both of you. The drawbacks are, however, that frequent talking makes the distance more apparent as it will come up in conversation, and you will be aware that they arent there with each conversation, making it seem like a lot longer than usual. But their company usually makes it very worthwhile. And for the infrequent communication, it helps make the time you've been apart seem less, though you run the risk of drifting slowly apart. I personally do the first option

6. Lastly, the secret to successful long distance relationships is hope. Now, when I say hope, i don't mean sentimental garbage. I mean, there must be times when you do actually see each other. So there must be hope in the sense that there should be visits every so often between relationship participants. Try to visit each other in rotations, you visit once, they visit the next time, and so on. This may be expensive so try to plan less trips/longer trips the farther away you are.

7. I must stress, long distance is pointless unless you know/think it very likely that you two will be together again at some point in time. Otherwise it would be like me dating you. There's just no point or reason behind it. So there it is folks. I hope this helps all you hopefuls out there. or maybe just bored readers. Whoever you are, Take away whatever you gleaned out of this, whether it was valuable advice or mild humor. Long distance relationships aren't hard, but they sure as hell are difficult. Good luck.

Tips & Warnings

• Be open minded, don't let new friends ruin the relationship unless you sense a genuine threat from them, at which case speak to your partner about it calmly, and in a non-accusing fashion
• Make good friends of your own to distract yourself with
• same as above except replace 'good friends' with 'hobbies'
• If you sense that you don't care about him/her as much as you originally thought/cannot deal with it, break up before you waste any more of your or their time.
• Don't let it get to your head; it's great to think about him/her once in a while, but overdoing it will be too stressful
• Good friends of the opposite sex may seem like they want to swoop in, but don't condemn her just yet. talk it out.

[VirtualWorker]

on 2/10/2009 Hi there,

Keep up the good work, five stars!

VirtualWorker

[argyle]

on 1/26/2009 I've been in a few long distance relationship. These are good tips that work. Thanks!