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Step 1
Realize that you are not alone. Many women experience at least one, if not several, miscarriages in their lifetime. According to some sources, miscarriage occurs in nearly 20% of all pregnancies. So, while you may feel alone, you are not.
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Step 2
Allow friends and family to be there for you. They have no idea what to say or how to react, so the easiest thing for you to do is allow them to help you in whatever way they can. It might mean running some errands for you, buying some food, cooking, cleaning, or babysitting (if you have other children). So when they ask, "Is there anything I can do?" Say "Yes!" And give them something to work with.
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Step 3
If you work, take some time off. Any good employer should understand. The next couple of weeks are going to take a toll on your emotions. If you can't afford to take time off, try to work out an altered schedule with your employer for a bit.
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Step 4
Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel. If you need to be angry, be angry. Sad, feel sad. If you need to stay busy, stay busy. Just do not hold back tears or emotions, that will only prolong your hopelessness.
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Step 5
Use resources! There are tons of resources online (and at your OBGYN) that speak to miscarriage/pregnancy loss/healing after loss. Use them. Here are some that I used:
www.marchofdimes.com
www.littleangelsonlinestore.com
www.pregnancyloss.info
www.firstcandle.org -
Step 6
Realize that this pain is probably something you'll never totally recover from, and that's okay. The pain will become less, but it won't ever disappear.
Comments
AdirondackTrina said
on 1/24/2009 Great idea for an article...and you're right, those of us who haven't experienced this wish we could do something to help, and just don't know what to do! 5* and Recommend!
jseven said
on 1/24/2009 Very good, we all need to help each other 5*.