Things You'll Need:
- Access to the Internet
- A change in attitude
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Step 1
If you're in an alcoholic marriage, contact Al-anon right away and go to a meeting as soon as possible. Follow the link in the resource section below to the website for Al-anon. Al-anon is a non-profit organization that helps people who have been affected by someone else's drinking.
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Step 2
If you're in an alcoholic marriage, don't try to control his or her drinking. It's important that you accept the person's drinking problem and begin to focus on yourself. Al-anon meetings will help you to focus on yourself. You probably don't like this idea. If this is the case, you are most likely not ready to improve your situation. You may not be in enough emotional pain yet.
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Step 3
Stop taking on the responsibilities of the alcoholic. You have probably been paying the bills, taking care of the children, doing all the laundry, and cleaning the house. Don't make an announcement about not taking on the alcoholic's responsibilities. Just don't it anymore.
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Step 4
If you're in an alcoholic marriage, stop scolding the alcoholic. You're only giving him or her an excuse to drink.
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Step 5
Start taking care of yourself. If you're in an alcoholic marriage you have probably been taking care of everyone but yourself. Start making yourself your number one priority. Do not be a doormat anymore. Give yourself permission to say, "no." Say,"no" out loud a few times. You don't need to say anything else after you say "no."
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Step 6
Don't make threats you don't intend to carry out. Have you threatened to leave... get a divorce... take the kids to your mother's.....??? Unless you mean what you say, don't say it.
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Step 7
Don't force your partner to go to AA meetings. The Alcoholics Anonymous link is not in the resource section. Don't Google search it either. The alcoholic is responsible for his or her sobriety, not you. If your spouse is going to meetings, don't check up on him or her. You are not the alcoholic's mother.
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Step 8
By going to Al-anon meetings you will begin to address the reasons why you were attracted to alcoholic in the first place. Take all the energy you have been putting on the alcoholic and focus it on yourself. Whether or not the alcoholic stops drinking, improve your life. Once you start working on your own issues, your alcoholic marriage has an excellent chance to improve.
Comments
cmarvindena said
on 10/10/2009 Depression. I want to br left alone.
cmarvindena said
on 10/10/2009 Falling out of love for my alcoholic husband.No hope
NuttyMomma said
on 1/26/2009 Very good tough advice but honest and helpful for those who have had enough.