How to Handle Your Child's Temper Tantrum

Remove the child from the situation that triggered the behavior.

All parents face unruly children at one time or another. The dreaded temper tantrum fills even the most patient parent with frustration. A child can appear sweet as candy one minute and turn sour an instant after he doesn't get his own way: His face scrunches up, his fists tighten and his mouth emits a shrill scream. Control the situation, even during a public outing, by remaining calm yourself and trying a few simple redirection techniques.

Things You'll Need

• Patience
• Love
• Understanding

Instructions

1. Diffuse the tantrum before it starts, if possible. Recognize what situations trigger your child's anger. For instance, avoid walking past the toy aisle at the store or attempting to take an overly tired child to run errands that can wait. Try to predetermine what may turn into a "moody" event.

2. Redirect the anger toward a more positive behavior. If your child is angry because you told him "no," try telling him "yes" to some other activity. For example, when you tell your child he is finished playing video games, suggest playing a board game together instead. The child may feel as if he's been given another choice instead of being told what to do, which may make him react in defiance.

3. Observe a timeout. This reaction works best when you put the child in a corner, either in a chair or standing up, facing the wall. Set an oven timer or microwave timer for one minute per each year of the child's age. If the child is 5 years old, set a timer for 5 minutes, for instance. Explain that you are giving him a timeout until he calms down and that he must stay there until the timer goes off. Do not let your child move away from the wall. If he tries to get away, gently, but sternly, put him back in front of it. Reset the timer. Tell him that his time does not start until he stands quietly against the wall and that you will restart the timer each time he moves.

4. Remove him from the location. If a temper tantrum happens in public, such as a grocery store, leave the area. This reaction may be embarrassing for a child. He may be stunned that you left the situation and realize that he no longer has any public attention.

5. Ignore your child's temper tantrum. Let him scream it out until he is finished. He may tire himself out when he realizes that his tantrum is not getting your attention. Place him in his room or in another safe location. Go to a nearby room and close the door slightly or put on a pair of headphones and turn on some music. When he is finished throwing a fit, explain that you're not going to listen to him scream. Tell him you will listen when he is ready to talk about the situation that upset him.

6. Talk to your child about his behavior. Explain that yelling and screaming does not help you to understand what he's upset about and that you will listen if he just talks in a calm tone of voice. Often children just want to be heard. Speaking to them respectfully yields far better results than yelling yourself.

Tips & Warnings

• Maintain consistency with discipline.

• Try redirecting the situation with laughter. An angry child does not stay that way long when he sees a parent making goofy faces.

• Avoid yelling at your child, which will only escalate the situation.

• Never hit your child, no matter how angry you are with the situation.

• If your patience is wearing thin, try calling a friend or someone who can offer advice and keep you calm.

References

• CBS: Keeping Your Cool
• Parenting: Temper Tantrums