How to End an Abusive Relationship

Being in an abusive relationship is difficult for an individual emotionally, financially and, in many cases, physically. The longer the individual is in the relationship the lower his or her self-esteem becomes. In addition, the longer the relationship continues, the individual may feel more trapped and isolated from the outside world. Being in an abusive relationship is difficult. However, getting out of the abusive relationship proves to be a battle in itself. There are certain steps an individual must take in order to get out of a relationship and, more importantly, to successfully get on with his or her life.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Counselor
• Family
• Friends
• Safe place to stay

1. 1

   Recognize the problem. If you're in an abusive relationship, it is likely that you find yourself wondering why you stay. After multiple episodes of mental and physical abuse, you may recognize there is a problem. While you may give the individual opportunities to change, if they don't, you must recognize the problem is not fixable.

2. 2

   Build a support system. Since an individual in an abusive relationship is often isolated from others, this step is particularly difficult. Once you've decided it's time to end the relationship, get as much support as possible. Turn to your family and close friends to help you get through this tough time. Explain the situation to them so they know all of the details. While this may be embarrassing and uncomfortable, this simple step may help you in the future.

3. 3

   Find a safe haven. If you lived with your abuser it is essential that you find another place to live. While you may eventually want to live on your own, it is better to find a living situation where you have a roommate. You can stay with close friends or even family. The rationale behind this is that there is someone around to help you if you need it.

4. 4

   Cut off contact. Do what you have to in order to cut off contact. If you have children, this step is more complicated because you must go through the courts and law enforcement to protect yourself and your child. This often consists of filing a restraining order and going through family court. If necessary, change your phone number, ignore emails and limit situations that will result in you unexpectedly coming into contact with your abuser.

5. 5

   Mend the wound. Once you've protected yourself and your child it's important to heal the wound that results from the abusive relationship. While you can turn to family and friends to discuss the traumatic relationship, you might want to seek an alternative source. Search for a counselor that can help you work through your pain. If you can't afford a counselor, search for a local agency that offers mental health services. You can also look for a support group that helps individuals get through abusive relationships.

6. 6

   Start all over. Once you've completed the previous steps, it's time to start your life all over and move on. Get involved in activities that you enjoy such as exercising, going to church or participate in community outreach programs. These activities will help you feel better about yourself and as a result, help you rebuild your self esteem. Remember, ending an abusive relationship, having the strength to start over and successfully rebuilding your life will take time but in the end it's well worth it.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't hesitate to call authorities if your abuser threatens you or stalks you. Take whatever legal action is necessary to protect yourself and your family.