How to Deal With a Difficult Teacher as a Parent

It's bound to happen at some point in your child's academic career. You will come across a teacher that rubs you and your child the wrong way. Maybe it's the way the teacher speaks to your child or her response to your questions. The teacher, in your point of view, is just difficult. However, before you demand that your child be taken out of her class, try to look at ways to deal with her. Remember that most teachers, even the difficult ones, usually are willing to work with parents to do what's best for the child.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Arrange a meeting with the teacher. It's best if you do this by e-mailing the teacher or leaving a message on her voice mail. This way you are setting a mutual time and place.

2. It isn't going to do you, your child or the teacher any good if you walk into the meeting filled with accusations and yelling insults. Respectfulness will get you much further than yelling.

3. Listen while the teacher gives his perspective on things. Don't interrupt. Ask him to tell you about your child, how he is doing, and if there are any areas he is concerned about that you need to be working on. This will allow him to share his fustration and make him easier to deal with when it comes time for you to talk.

4. Once the teacher has had her say, share your perspective. Try to enlist her as an ally rather than an enemy. Ask her how both of you, working as a team, can move toward a solution.

5. Keep it between you and the teacher. Bringing up stories about how your child prefers another teacher or how he had never had this problem before will only make the situation worse.

6. Take notes during your meeting. If the teacher behaves in a way you aren't comfortable with or says something you aren't happy with, write it down.

7. Keep a journal for all correspondences with the teacher. Write down what was resolved at each meeting. If you call or e-mail the teacher and it takes her two days to response, write it down. If she responded in 5 minutes, do the same. The goal is to establish a written picture of the teacher's behavior.

8. Go to a school administrator or the principal if communication has broken down, but be prepared for some hesitance on the administration's part. No principal will feel comfortable with taking a parent's word over their teacher, and this is where the journal comes in handy. It's hard to argue with exact times and dates

9. Never give up. You are your child's advocate so, if the school administration failed to respond, take it above his head. Most schools, for example, have school boards. E-mail, call, write or visit each member on the board until someone listens and takes action.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't confront a teacher after class or outside the school. Do not bring other parents into it. Talking about how other parents feel the same way will make the teacher feel ganged up on and more defensive.

[nikkia623]

on 10/24/2009 This is a great article!!!!!!!! I like the detail you give on how to deal with a difficult teacher.5* and a rec.