How to Communicate With a Child's Middle School Teacher

Middle school can feel like madness--puberty strikes, the workload increases and peers apply pressure. Your children no longer need (or want) you do everything for them, but they are still dependent on you for transportation, finances and (more often than they admit) loving support. Understanding how to communicate with your child's middle school teachers won't solve all their middle school woes. However, it will reduce stress and can help your children gain more confidence in school. Take some time to learn what middle school teachers would like you to know to enhance communication.

Difficulty:

Easy

Instructions

1. Initiate contact. Middle school teachers see their job as teaching the subject matter and building their students' character, not forcing students to focus when they refuse. Middle school teachers are usually alone in the classroom and teach more than 100 students total, so it's not usually feasible to contact a parent every time a grade drops or a student seems off-task. The idea is that students will learn skills in elementary school so that they can take on more personal responsibility in middle school. If you approach middle school teachers, they'll be happy to help.

2. Schedule your meeting in advance. When parents approach middle school teachers out of the blue, they are often caught off-guard and may erroneously seem unprepared to answer your questions. Therefore, it's a good idea to set up a meeting in advance rather than just showing up before or after class. It is also a good idea to contact teachers before the school year has reached full swing just to introduce yourself and let them know that you are very interested in your child's education.

3. Find out the teacher's preferred method of communication. When you introduce yourself for the first time, find out whether the teacher likes phone or email communication. If in doubt, try e-mail. Teachers communicate with each other via e-mail, so they check their accounts several times a day and will probably respond in a more timely manner than if you call them. E-mail is also good because it allows you to keep a written account of all correspondence for future reference. When you send a message, it's a good idea to allow between 24 and 48 hours to respond unless the situation is an emergency. If you don't hear back within that time frame, feel free to send another e-mail or to call the school. If you don't hear anything after that, then it's appropriate to notify the principal, who will make sure that a meeting is set.

4. Have realistic expectations. On the day of your meeting, a middle school teacher will be able to show you your child's grades and explain why they are what they are. The teacher will also be able to explain any behavioral issues that exist. Depending on the teacher's class policies, you may find out how your child can earn extra credit. However, don't expect any miracles to occur. The focus of your meeting should not be how to change the past. Instead, the focus should be how your child can become more successful in the future.

5. Ask the teacher four questions to maximize your meeting's potential for success. First, could the teacher please send you a description of projects that will be coming up in the future? Second, can you see samples of exceptional student work? Third, can you see a sample test? Fourth, is there a way for you to see your child's grades online? These questions will help you become proactive about your child's education. Online grade reporting systems exist at many schools and will allow you to intervene before your child's grades have gotten out of control. Likewise, understanding upcoming projects will help you keep your child organized, and seeing sample tests will let you know what parts of the notes your child should study. Finally, the best way to know exactly what's expected of your child is to look at what other children have done, so asking for work samples is a great idea.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are more concerned about your child's behavior than grades, ask about observing in class one day. Seeing what goes on in a classroom will help you understand why your child's behavior is handled the way it is. By observing your child in class, you may also be able to provide insight into what is triggering the negative behavior.