How to Say NO to Anything

If you've ever wondered how to say no to people, this article can give you some simple tips for refusing anything without hurt feelings and without making you feel guilty!

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Start your refusal with the word unfortunately. This makes it sound much more polite. Here are some examples:
   Unfortunately I'm just not going to be able to do that
   Unfortunately that's not going to work out for me.
   Unfortunately I just can't accommodate that.

2. DO NOT give ther person a reason; this just gives them something to argue with even if they don't mean to do that. For example if you say, Unfortunately I can't do that because I have plans with my family that night, they will probably counter with, You can reschedule with your family, can't you? Or they may say, Oh, your family won't mind! So DO NOT give them a reason as to your refusal, even if they ask.

3. After your refusal, say something that sounds final and that will end the conversation or change the subject, such as, Unfortunately I can't help you with that project, but I'm sure you'll find someone that can. Or, Unfortunately I just cannot accommodate you. Maybe next time.

4. Be prepared to repeat yourself as they will probably ask again or argue with you. Just say that phrase beginning with unfortunately again, and do not give them a reason even if they ask.

5. If the person tries emotional blackmail methods such as trying to make you feel guilty or feel sorry for them or gets resentful and angry, remember that giving in to those methods only encourages them to keep up those methods. And, why would you want to give in to someone that bullies you or makes you feel bad because you cannot accommodate their every request?

Tips & Warnings

• Rehearse this with a friend or family member so that you can get comfortable saying no. Ask them for feedback so that you can improve how you come across.
• Remember that body language says almost as much as what you say verbally. Stand up straight, hold your head up high, and keep your voice even. You're not asking this person for permission to say no; you're informing them of your decision.
• Be prepared for resistance especially from those who are used to getting their way with you. Just because they don't get the message the first time doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong! Stick to your guns and it will be easier to say no when needed.

[keytothestars]

on 1/24/2009 Great ways to say no and still be kind. =D

[Psalmist4M]

on 1/20/2009 This is very well written, on point and easily applied. Thanks again for another great article. 5*s