How to Succeed As A Foster Parent

Foster parenting can be a rewarding experience for singles and couples if you go into it for the right reasons, and keep some helpful hints in mind!

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. 
    

   Go into foster parenting for the right reasons, and know yourself well enough to admit what your reasons are. If you truly are looking to adopt, it is NOT a good idea to take children into your home that are not legally freed for adoption. It leads to misunderstandings, mis-communication, and probably a broken heart on your part when the social service agency involved succeeds in what they set out to do...reunite the child with his birth family.

2. 
    

   Remind yourself that the kids are the priority. Educate yourself, and go into the process with your eyes open, skipping the rose colored glasses.

3. 
    

   Promise yourself and God, that until it is proven otherwise, the best outcome for this child is to be returned to his or her biological parents, and plan to do everything you can for the birth parents to make them succeed. Be the number one supporter, cheerleader, and coach to the birth parents, and help them to become the great parents God intended for them to be!
   If this is a child God intended for you to keep, He will make it clear to you beyond the shadow of a doubt...you don't need to manipulate the situation!
   If these children are supposed to be returned to their parents, trust and pray that God will bring it about in a way that won't traumatize you and your family. Reuniting children with parents who have worked really hard to better themselves will leave you feeling rewarded and satisfied, and you will know that your prayers have been answered!

4. 
    

   If it is proven otherwise, and the birth parents prove their unwillingness to parent safely (ongoing physical, sexual abuse, etc.), be diligent about recording pertinent information, and turning it into your foster child's case worker.

5. 
    

   Pray, pray, pray! Pray without ceasing! Pray for your foster child, pray for his mother and father, pray for the caseworker, for the judge, and anyone else involved.

6. 
    

   Decide what your house rules are before you take the first child into your home. Decide which rules are flexible (like bedtime, for example), and which rules are rigid (like no screaming in the house, no candles in the bedrooms, etc). If you have it figured out ahead of time, it's a whole lot easier to enforce when non-infants come into your home and start testing the limits!

7. Pray more! Pray especially about the child's past, and ask God to bind the past, and the strongholds that are caused by the sins of the parents, grandparents, etc. Pray that God will release him or her from the past, and not to allow them to suffer the consequences of someone else's actions.

Tips & Warnings

• Many, maybe even most foster children wet the bed, because they have been abused, neglected, and then taken away from the only people and things that they know and love. If you put plastic sheets on every single bed in the house, you are not singling them out. Make clean bedding readily available, and tell every child that comes in your door that it's not a big deal, they can change the bedding themselves and put it in the hamper, or that they are welcome any time of the night to come and get you up to help them change it...that it will stay between the two of you. This takes a lot of pressure off this child!
• Remember your child development classes! Babies and children need to be loved and nurtured in order to survive. The more love and the more nurturing their environment is, the more you improve their chances of surviving whatever these children are facing. Forget about guarding your heart. To give this child what he or she needs, you have to give your heart away, and love them like they are yours! Trust God to protect your heart from being broken.
• Remember that many foster children have been sexually abused. You might not EVER be able to leave your husband, your brother, your boyfriend, or your son alone with this child.

[dorsmh]

on 11/25/2009 I am about to become a foster parent. Your article is exactly how I feel. Very well written. Thank you.

[gentletouch]

on 10/9/2009 THE TOPPING OF THIS ARTICLE IS PRAYER AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES EVERYTHING FALL INTO A PLACE OF GREATNESS. 5* BLESSINGS, gentletouch

[gentletouch]

on 10/9/2009 THE TOPPING OF THIS ARTICLE IS PRAYER AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES EVERYTHING FALL INTO A PLACE OF GREATNESS. 5* BLESSINGS, gentletouch

[healthymomof5]

on 2/6/2009 Great article! My parents are foster parents and its been so rewarding for the whole family.5*

[arcollupy]

on 1/26/2009 Such great advice!! I've considered foster parenting, but adoption might be more down my road. Thanks again.