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Step 1
Honesty- Avoid keeping secrets. Be truthful and straightforward. Assume everything you know will eventually come out. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Secrets require tremendous energy on your part. That energy could be going into building and strengthening the relationship.
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Step 2
Matching message- Ensure your statements and their significance match. To hear your words harmonizing with your body language is very reassuring to your partner. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your partner needs to be able to trust your words. You build trust in a relationship when you mean what you say.
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Step 3
Predictability- is essential and supersedes variety in a relationship.
Therefore, you need to be predictable. This contradicts the universal notion that you need to “stir things up” to spice up your romance. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need be consistent and reliable in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built mostly on being dependable. -
Step 4
Communicate needs- Relay to your partner without fear what your needs are. Don’t make him or her guess what you expect. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Not getting your wants met will generate resentment and eventually create emotional problems. Furthermore, unwillingness to assert your needs may propel you in the opposite direction and smother your partner.
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Step 5
Learn to disagree - When your partner voices his or her needs is beneficial to the relationship. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. How can your partner respect you if you never say no? You are not a piece of furniture or a pet. Refusing to be dominated to the other person’s whims actually builds trust in a relationship. If you don’t agree, disagree.
