How to Watch Football with a Girl

All these years, all these women, and I finally figured out how to get a girl to watch football with me without complaining. Let me share my secrets with you today, and save you years of frustration.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• a girl
• a tv
• food
• a plan

1. First off, this will not apply to all girls, however it is basically understood that women are genetically uninterested in football, therefore these tips will help you enjoy a sunday of football, and your wife or girlfriend at the same time. At worst, you can have a few friends over, and she will have other women to talk to, and complain about men for the next 3 hours.

2. Ok, you just can't flop on the couch with a pitcher of beer and expect the football hater...Um, I mean girl to sit there and smile, it just doesn't work that way. Women love events, they love food, they love candles, music, small talk, and they like interaction. It is your job to pretend that she is the main event, and the football is only a side event, and not really important at all. It just happens that football is on every tv in the house...what a coincidence. No matter, after you follow through with the "plan" all will be good.

3. Invite some other couples over, prepare some food, wine, beer, and start the party outside, or in the kitchen before the game starts. Stay mobile and don't sit down in front of the tube yet. Talk in the kitchen, stand behind the TV, talk about the game but make sure the women are also talking, eating, laughing, and drinking lots of alcohol. If the women bond, then you are home free, if she's still clinging to you, then you have to continue the conversation, food, and alcohol until she passes out in your lap.

Tips & Warnings

• Explain what's happening during the game, so she will be forced to look at the TV screen.
• Offer to get her more food, drinks, etc.
• Tell her she could have been a cheerleader.
• Tell her that there will be a dance contest at halftime, so she better start warming up.
• Put TV's in opposite directions, so you can look over her shoulder and still watch the game.
• Don't sit in front of the TV with your buddies and yell like idiots.
• Don't drool over the cheerleaders out loud, use your elbows and hand signals.
• Don't ignore the women unless they are having an equally good time.
• Remember, some of these ideas were just for fun.

[severt101]

on 1/17/2009 I guess I am lick my wife like to watch football lol

[JoyNmyHeart]

on 1/16/2009 I am your basic woman who does not enjoy football. However I DID enjoy your article! I really liked your warnings and think that men everywhere should read them. I am SO lucky my husband isn't a big football fan either!

[imagery]

on 1/15/2009 Good article but my woman of 37 years has always loved football. Before we were married we went to a Pitt game. It was raining and cold and at half time Pitt was down to WVU 35 to 3. Many people left, we were a little to drunk to leave so we stayed and watched Pitt score 35 unanswered points. She was hooked and we have been rabid Steeler and Penn State fans ever since. We watch all the games togther.

[mark1967]

on 1/12/2009 Most women do not enjoy football, that is an accepted fact. It was meant to be enjoyed for the light hearted content, apparently you are too serious to enjoy such material.

[mark1967]

on 1/11/2009 dear josettedupres,
I guess you misse the first paragraph when i said that this article didn't apply to "ALL" women. It was meant to be useful and funny. So many guys plop down on the couch with a beer and chips and wonder why their wives and girlfriends hate football.