How to Convince Your Husband to Help in the House

Here are some tips that I have personally tried and that work for getting my husband to help with housekeeping. It never hurts to try!

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Ask him! Despite popular belief that men can see how busy we are and can read our minds and see our needs, they do not and cannot! You may be juggling a full time job, kids, family functions, church functions, and housekeeping, but he's juggling stuff too! He won't notice your needs any more than you will notice his! So in a very sweet and respectful way, ask him what you want.

2. Don't spoil him. Once you get started doing something for your husband, he will always rely on you to do it. It's tempting at the beginning of the relationship to spoil him, put your best foot forward, and impress him with how much he needs you, but try to avoid this. For example, you may want to avoid things like ironing all of his clothes, because you'll be ironing the rest of your wedded bliss! If you really love to iron, more power to you! The point is that cutting down on some of your household commitments automatically means that he is helping you.

3. 
    

   Be specific. Don't say, can you help me? Or what can you help with? He probably won't know. Tell him specifically how he can help. For example, can you give the baby a bath while I get dinner ready?

4. Show him first. Before throwing him into something, have him join you and help you the first time. Show him how you do it.

5. Set him up for success. Set everything up for your husband; make it easier for him. For example, back to the bathing the baby example, get everything he needs for the bath, such as the baby tub, shampoo, body wash, lotion, washcloth, diaper, wipes, baby outfit, towel, etc. This may only take you two minutes, while he will save you at least 15 minutes doing it. He will be more willing to help if he feels like it's easier and he has everything he needs.

6. Don't criticize. Telling your husband what he's doing wrong is a sure way to get him to feel unappreciated and never want to help you again. If you feel that he's doing something terribly wrong or dangerous, tell him as gently as possible and preface the criticism with what he is doing well.

7. 
    

   Give him incentive. Offer him lots of praise! Thank him for what he did and tell him how much he helped you out. Give him a hug and a kiss. Go overboard! Men eat this up and this will encourage them to do an encore performance. Also, be there for him when he has needs. If you are ready to help him when he's in need, he'll probably be there for you when you need it.

[flor2729]

on 11/10/2009 These are all excellent tips. I enjoyed reading this.

[dnb3]

on 8/9/2009 Expert Mom just slammed a wife for criticizing her husband who just wanted to help with his son - see MommyAdviceColumn.com - it is hysterical!

[ginafur]

on 2/4/2009 Thanks for the tips. My husband does a great job helping me. Yes, you do have to tell a man exactly what you need help with. 5*

[Jlr1989]

on 2/4/2009 Nice! 5 stars and a recommendation!

[Susang6]

on 2/3/2009 Your tips are all very true. Men aren't mind readers and if you don't ask them to help out, they will assume that you like doing Laundry until 3 am! Great article 5*