How to Survive Long-Distance Relationships and Improve Your Intimacy in the Process

All relationships are complex, but long distance relationships face even more obstacles. It is possible to emerge from long distance relationships with increased communication, greater intimacy, and an overall stronger relationship. Our careers have led my partner and me to be separated at multiple points in our relationship. At one point, we lived in different countries for six months. These are my tips for how to survive:

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• commitment
• regular communication

1. 
   together

   Agree with your partner that having a long distance relationship will be challenging, but you will rise to the challenge together.

2. 
   communication

   Sign up for a Voice over Internet program and buy a headset. The basic service for programs like Skype are free. Communication with a headset is easy as long as you both have high speed internet access. You will save a lot of money in long distance and/or international phone charges.

3. 
   communication

   Buy a webcam. Being able to see your loved one’s image is not as good as seeing them face-to face, but it’s better than nothing! It can make a long distance relationship bearable.

4. 
   date

   Set up long distance “dates.” This is an absolute must for long distance relationships across time zones. On your “dates” you can meet in chat rooms and make calls online. You can also play games together online.

5. 
   communication

   Communicate, at the least, on a daily basis. Regular communication will help you continue to feel connected.

6. 
   communication

   Recognize that communication is fragile and miscommunication can easily occur online and over the phone. The visual cues we have in normal conversation are absent. Make this an opportunity for becoming better at verbal communication. Ask for clarification of statements often. Avoid jumping to conclusions.

7. 
   communication, intimacy

   Deal with concerns directly and immediately. This is important for intimacy in all relationships but even more so in long distance relationships. Communication is key. Your partner may not be able to see your reaction or sense that something is wrong based on your body language. When you deal with things immediately, they don’t have time to grow into something bigger. Directly tell your partner what concerned you and why. Intimacy is strongest in relationships that are based on honesty. Frame everything in terms of you and how you feel. Avoid attacking or accusing your partner.

8. 
   intimacy

   Get to know each other better and increase intimacy by asking each other questions. Written communication can be an incredible mode for sharing and reflecting in relationships. Ask your partner questions that might seem awkward face to face.

9. 
   intimacy

   Share. Share your thoughts, your feelings, and little things you’ve noticed. Share interesting news stories, poems, songs, websites, trivia, or anything else you and your partner are interested in.

Tips & Warnings

• Prepare yourself for moments of profoundly missing your partner. Keep pictures close by.
• Intimacy grows over time.
• Communication using Voice over Internet and webcams can be challenging if either person's Internet access is slow.

Resources

• Skype

[meicamanzano]

on 8/13/2009 I am in a long distance relationship and I'm proud to say we are doing the same things....It works.Now, after 8 months of waiting we'll be seeing each other. I miss him sooooo much. This article is very helpful for long distance couple.

[dasbootjoe]

on 1/7/2009 Great article (long title)!! Thanks for sharing*****

[kimarkent]

on 1/7/2009 This was a very good article. I just bought a web-cam and signed up with skype just to talk to my daughter who will be moving to another state! so your article works in that sense too! thanks 5*

[RachelB]

on 1/7/2009 Long distance relationships can be so challenging, and your tips are so helpful!
RachelB

[Psalmist4M]

on 1/7/2009 Great, very decisive and articulate. Thanks for sharing. 5*s