How to Catch a Gnome

Gnomes are hard to catch. They bite, they kick, and they will gang up on you. Catching them can be most challenging.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. 
   image copyright dizznan on Flickr

   Slow their reproduction. The little blighters reproduce like crazy. If you are not careful, you will end up with an entire village full of them and then you will never get rid of them. They might even outlive cockroaches.

2. 
   image copyright Er.We on Flickr

   Use a bath tub as a garden planter. Men gnomes HATE baths. The women gnomes are always nagging their men to take baths and seeing the tub will remind both the man and woman that bathing is needed and they will argue about this so much that they will forget to reproduce.

3. 
   image copyright blmurch on Flickr

   Leave candy around. They are always inspecting mushrooms and are drawn to candy like we are. Once they start licking at it, they will sit down and work at it till it is gone. Sometimes they will take so long that mushrooms will grow on them. This makes them easy catches.

4. 
   image copyright makeshiftlove on Flickr

   Once you have them drunk on candy and you catch them, you should hold them close and sing "The Gnome" to them while you transport them to their new home.

Resources

• Pink Floyd "The Gnome" on YouTube
• Secrets of the Gnomes

[avalos1360]

on 10/4/2009 are gnomes even real?

[techforlife]

on 6/13/2009 PEH! i thought garden gnomes were friendly! all the gnomes i've met have been real nive n loveable.

[Biscuit4u]

on 1/15/2009 Thanks for the funny read. Very creative.

[chenderson00]

on 1/7/2009 Hahaha...gnomes are weird little things. 5*s I enjoyed this article :)

[soanyway]

on 1/5/2009 Cute! I myself would like a village full of Gnomes! I have recom'd you