How to be Chuck Bass

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Everyone is in love with Gossip Girl's resident bad boy Chuck Bass. Those bow ties! That sneer! Those condescending, degrading, misogynistic quips! Here is the How-to on being the mythological anti-hero that is Charles Bartholomew Bass.


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Things You'll Need

  • Money for clothes
  • Confidence & attitude (money can't buy this)
  • Begin and end sentences by saying, "I am (insert first and last name)".
    Don't ever let people forget who you are.

  • For daywear, embrace the three P's- purple, plaid, and preppy.
    No color is too bold, no pattern is too tacky, and no outfit is too Hamptons-d*uchey for a Chuck Bass wannabe.

  • For nightwear, embrace the three V's- vests, velvet, and Valentino.
    Chuck Bass just doesn't party at night, he IS the night.

  • Two words: bow ties.
    Women love a man who has a sophisticated style. Think of Cary Grant but 17 years-old and drunk.

  • Purse lips, raise left eyebrow, and lightly whisper in all conversations.
    Act like it's near painful to engage in conversation with a person all the while coldly judging them.

  • Walk with a swagger that looks like there is a stick shoved way up your butt. No matter how ridiculous it looks, people will find it sexy as long as you follow all the steps listed in this ehow.

  • Learn to appreciate fine wines, ports, and liquors and make sure to carry a full glass on the rocks wherever you go (parties, shopping, school).

  • Vacation in exotic locations via private jet, all the while wearing gaudy clothing and perpetuating the Ugly American belief.

  • Pay people like chauffeurs, bodyguards, and escorts to hang around you so you feel like you have friends.

  • Sleep with any woman that comes your way. If she doesn't give into your Machiavelli advances, say something like, "Your looks bore me" or "Do you know who I am? I'm (insert first and last name)." (see Step 1)

  • Try to cause pointless and detrimental damage to your friends' social life for no reason other than that you can.

  • Try desperately to win the approval of your soulless and emotionally inept father, all the while neglecting the obvious fact that you're turning into him.

  • Instead of telling the woman of your dreams that you love her, mentally torture her.

  • Photo Credit CW
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