How to Plan a Catholic Convalidation Ceremony Outside of Mass

For many, having your marriage convalidated-recognized in the Catholic Church-is a brief and simple affair, attended to by only them, their witness, and their pastor. But some, especially those who may not have had a traditional wedding, might want to plan something a little more involved. It can be difficult to figure out where to start when planning a marriage convalidation ceremony, since it is not exactly the same as a traditional wedding. Normally, you would not include a formal Mass within the ceremony. It is much like a wedding vow renewal ceremony, with some key differences. This how-to will help guide you in planning your Catholic convalidation ceremony outside Mass in a special way.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Permission from your local Diocese and Parish
• Parish guidelines for performing wedding and/or convalidation ceremonies
• One Christian witness
• Appropriate attire (suit for men, dress or pants suit for women)
• Invitations

1. Read the eHow article (http://www.ehow.com/how_4615814_marriage-convalidated-acknowledged-catholic-church.html) on the steps you must take to meet the appropriate requirements in the Catholic Church before scheduling a date to have your marriage convalidated.

2. Set a date. Many people like to set the date on or near the date of their wedding anniversary.

3. Decide how large and how formal an event you want your convalidation ceremony to be. Most people do not plan too lavish or formal a ceremony, since they are already married (often for a number of years).

4. Pick up a copy of the suggested readings and music for weddings that your parish office gives to couples planning a Catholic wedding. If the parish office does not have one, a good resource is "Together for Life: A Preparation for Marriage Outside Mass" (http://www.amazon.com/Together-Life-Preparation-Marriage-Outside/dp/087793617X).

5. Select the readings you want presented during the service. Typically, a wedding ceremony with a Mass has a reading each from the Old and New Testament, a Gospel reading, and a Psalm. You do not need to have as many.

6. Select the music you would like played, if any at all. You should meet with the parish Music Director for guidance on hiring someone to play your ceremony, placement of music within the ceremony, and other specific considerations your individual parish might have.

7. Choose your witnesses. You need only one Christian witness, but it is perfectly acceptable to have two just as in a traditional wedding. They do not need to be the same witnesses you had for your wedding.

8. Choose a dress. Any color is appropriate to wear-except white, which is traditionally used for first weddings, and you can go as bold or as subdued in color as you prefer. Men should wear suits.

9. Choose the décor. Each parish has its own guidelines for what type of décor may be used within the Church, so check with your pastor as to what you may bring into the Church.

10. Send out the invitations at least six weeks in advance, earlier for guests who have to plan air travel.

11. Relax and enjoy this special celebration of your love!

Tips & Warnings

• You may have the option to choose someone to read the Scripture passages you selected for your convalidation ceremony. This is a wonderful opportunity to inlude older children or close friends in the ceremony.
• If you set the date of your ceremony near a major feast day, such as in the Easter or Christmas seasons, you can take advantage of the decorations the Church will already have in place.
• Instead of inviting people to your "convalidation ceremony", which may not be understood by those outside the Catholic religion, you might want to say you are "reaffirming your love and commitment within the Church", or something along those lines.
• Consider asking someone to put the word out that in lieu of gifts, you would prefer guests to make a donation to a designated charity.
• The Catholic Church usually discourages weddings and other celebrations during the Lenten season. If you set a date during this time, check with your pastor as to what may and may not be allowed (for example, flowers are usually not brought into the Church during Lent).