How to Write an Effective Dear Birthmother Letter if You are Single

If you are considering domestic adoption, one of the most important issues you will face is writing an effective "Dear Birthmother" Letter. In most domestic adoption situations, birth mothers decide whether to speak to a family based on information the family provides in their letter. Some issues are important for everyone including couples but there are a few items that single adopters must pay particular attention to when writing their letters.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Avoid lead-ins such as "I understand what you are going through." Birth mothers read through many of these letters that state the same thing and unless you've given up a child for adoption, you really don't understand.

2. Avoid getting overly involved in spelling out the pain and suffering you've experienced in trying to build your family if such is the case. You don't want to make the birth mother feel guilt and she may not appreciate it either.

3. If you are single, it is important that you present yourself to the birth mother as someone who has a great deal of support by either family, friends or both. Birth mothers are often single and they need reassurance that you can give her child all the support that she feels she cannot.

4. Explain to the birth mother why you are making the decision to become a parent when you are single instead of waiting to find a partner.

5. Take the time to share stories and pictures of you enjoying hobbies, friends, family and being with kids

6. Don't be afraid to address a birth mothers potential concerns directly. You may have a lead-in that says something like, "You may have concerns about giving your child to a person who is single..." and then go on to explain why you think she need not be concerned.