How to Ask a Girl Out on a Date

Asking a girl out can be one of the most difficult things that a guy will ever do. It is excruciatingly hard for teenagers, but is difficult at any age. This article offers some steps that may make this task slightly less difficult.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. As obvious as this sounds, before asking a girl out on a date, you first need to get a sense of whether or not she actually likes you. Start out by making basic conversation, and see how she responds. This can be especially difficult for teenagers, but it gets easier with time. You just need to look in the lady's eyes, watch her body language, and see if she's showing interest.

2. One way to make the above step easier is to approach the lady when you are clear-headed. Stated another way, if you are speaking to the lady while thinking about the so-called one thing that guys have on their mind, then your judgment will be clouded. You need to speak to the lady when you are not in this state of being.

3. Assuming that the lady does seem interested in you, you really should get to know her somewhat before asking her out. It can be hard to know when the right time is. If you take too long, she'll wonder if you're ever going to ask her, and she might think that you don't like her. If you ask her too soon, you'll seem overly eager, and she might get the impression that you don't even know who she really is. It just takes practice to learn the best time, and in many cases you can never get it exactly right.

4. Spend time just chatting with the lady whenever possible, being careful to not overwhelm or stifle her. Don’t expect her to not chat with other guys during all this time. At some point you could try doing some basic flirting, which is really an art form in and of itself. You just have to "test the waters," and see how she responds to different compliments and acts of flirting. Again, be careful to not overwhelm, and be careful to not let your flirting cross over the line into unwanted sexual advances.

5. At some point you'll determine that the time is right to ask the lady out. Don't just say, "What are you doing this weekend?" It's an unfair question. No girl is going to admit that she's either sitting at home doing nothing, or that she has dates with 10 different guys lined up. If nothing else, your question is too ambiguous. She'll want to know what you have in mind before she answers you.

6. Don't say something like, "Do you want to have dinner sometime?" It is too vague, and leaves the door open for a snappy comeback. What does "sometime" mean? If she says Yes, then what? If she says No, that will be a big blow to your ego, because the implication is that she never wants to date you no matter how big a time window you offer.

7. The best thing to do is to just ask something specific. Just say, "I know a nice coffee shop near here. Would you like to join me for coffee this Friday during lunch hour?" or something along those lines. Listen very carefully to her answer. If she says Yes, then congratulations. If she says anything else, you need to watch her eyes and her body language, and listen to what she says carefully. If she is interested in going out with you, but is truly busy at that time, she will let you know. She will say, "I can't this Friday, but I'd love to another time." You could then plan for another time.

8. Continue listening carefully. If she claims to be busy at every other time that is discussed, then she was just being polite, and trying to let you down easy. If she is truly interested, you'll be able to tell, and you'll be able to schedule another time. If she's interested in you, but would rather do something besides going for coffee, she'll discuss some other idea. She might say, "How would you feel if we had a quick lunch, since I only get 30 minutes for lunch, and coffee will take up all that time." Just watch and listen carefully.

9. Note that some girls are very shy or inexperienced. If the girl truly does want to go out with you, but is having trouble making this clear, then there is not much you can do. It is simply the girl's responsibility to let you know if she does want to accept your offer for a date, but it is truly only a matter of logistics as to when and where and how.

10. It is worth mentioning that all of these steps are only really applicable if you are looking for a true date that could lead to a relationship. If you are just looking to "hook up," the girl will be able to tell this very easily. She might very well want to "hook up" herself, but don't think that you are fooling her by pretending to be interested in coffee.

11. If you get rejected, try to not take it personally. There are so many "types" in the world, and you just might not be hers. Of course there could be a million other possible reasons why the lady rejected you. Just let it go, and move on to someone else. It simply wasn't meant to be. If it was, she would have said Yes. Try to remember that everything happens for a reason, although you may never understand it. In the case of girls, if one girl rejects you, it just means that it is your destiny to be with another girl. Go out and find her! (When you do, tell her that I said Hi).

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[jseven]

on 3/4/2009 Way to nail it! lol....

[Kilogramm]

on 12/27/2008 Some of the realist tips here, great 10 star write up!

[HairCrazy]

on 12/27/2008 Great tips on asking a girl out!