How to Deal With Family Problems

Everyone's family has problems every once in a while - whether you are family through blood or through marriage. Obviously each problem requires a different approach, but the tips here should give you a perspective on how to begin.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• patience
• kindness
• the ability to bite your tongue

1. Take a step back. Do not react immediately. Instead, think about the problem from a non emotional standpoint. Who does the problem effect? How does the problem affect you? What can you do to help? What would your family's reaction to your solution be? Asking these questions in advance can help avoid a lot of future heartache.

2. Know your limits. If you would really like to tell your family member what you think but it wouldn't help, don't say anything. Sure it would help you blow off some steam, but it would not help your family member or your relationship with them. So know when to keep quiet. Only give your opinion when you are asked for advice.

3. Do not gossip. If Aunt Sally is in rehab for drug addiction, there is no need to tell anyone about it that does not absolutely have to know. It is honorable to keep family matters quiet. And people will trust you more when they know that you won't tell everyone the things they tell you.

4. Be there if at all possible in emergencies. Whether it takes a plane ticket or chipping in to help with funeral expenses, do your absolute best to put family first. When it is known that you do your best, if on occasion you can't afford to chip in they will know it's the truth. You probably won't get thanked for it, but you will be respected.

5. Don't let yourself be antagonized. There is always (at least) one person in the family that says hurtful things. Do not let it get to you. Keep your focus on when you can leave that particular gathering and go home where you can breathe easy. Keeping family gatherings relatively short when that person is around will help a lot.

6. Be yourself regardless of what your family thinks. When it comes to the important things, gently stand your ground. Even if your family makes a show of hating you for it for a while, don't make yourself miserable. Either they will come around and be okay with it, or they do not love you unconditionally. Just give it time.

Tips & Warnings

• The way things are said means a lot. The right words and a gentle tone can go a long way.
• Ask for advice. It makes people feel involved and important - and the advice can be great too.
• Do not hold on to your pride. That's what starts long lasting feuds. Be forgiving.

[panda99]

on 11/16/2009 They just can't even give me a time to explain it to them. Why do they NEVER UNDERSTAND!??! I can't stand this anymore!! No one's supporting me!!They never cared for what I feel!!!!! They just see me in the opposite way!! I'M GOING TO BE CRAZY SO SOON!!! ;-; I wish my house would collasp AND EVERYTHING ENDS IMMIDIATELY!! ARGHH !!!

[panda99]

on 11/16/2009 I'm 15, it's my year end holidays. I need help please!! My parents can't stop picking and scolding me. It makes me cry everyday when I think of them. They upset me, they make me stress, they scold me and hate me for whatever I do. It made me so out of my mind! I can't even smile at them! They took away my smiles. I can't stand them anymore. All I can do is hide these sad feelings myself! No one's giving a **** about my life, no one's siding with me or supporting me. I'm all alone in this hatred house & hatred life. I hit myself, blame myself for why I am born. But it got worst when my cousin came day before yesterday and saw my bruises&scratches. I did them to relieve my stress. I did them to relieve my anger. But my damn cousins, they told my parents that I learn to do those bruises from internet as in ''cool tattoo''. My parents went on fire and yelled at me. My mom's going to whip...