How to Cope with Loneliness During Holiday Seasons

While serving hundreds of people struggling with so many issues, I found that an underlying source of hardship was loneliness. For example, many people who get involved with substance abuse find that they are often drawn to the atmosphere of community, sometimes even more than the drugs. Loneliness is different for everyone, but it always hurts those who experience it. Some people even experience feelings of depression. The holidays tend to amplify feelings of loneliness. This article does not address how to never experience loneliness, but only how to move beyond it.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Hope
• Effort
• Something for writing (paper pen or computer, etc.)

1. 
    

   We have to first admit that we feel lonely. This is difficult perhaps because the world celebrates and encourages popularity. Many people feel that lonely people are also unwanted and are uncomfortable with thinking that way. But loneliness is not about others as much as it is about the one who feels lonely.

2. 
    

   Take the time to list the reasons that you feel lonely. What I found is that often when we try to list the reasons that we think that we feel lonely we uncover other issues. For me, I realized that I was still grieving the loss of my mother.

3. Look at your list and for each item and write down one thing that you can do to make that issue go away. For example, I realized that I needed to find grief counseling and support to address how much I was hurt from losing my mother. Taking the steps to do something about what bothers you is a great move towards overcoming it.

4. 
    

   Now list everything that is good about you. This is often difficult when feeling lonely because many lonely people also fail to see their own value. That you are still alive is the first place to start. Maybe you have a great smile, a love for animals, a green thumb, like to write, etc. Don't be shy about writing good things about yourself.

5. 
    

   Give thanks for how wonderfully you are made. You should realize that your uniqueness is a precious gift to the world.

6. Now list at least 3 people that you know personally, appreciate and care about.

7. Think about and make a list of all the things that you believe are good about them. It is wonderful that you have the ability to see the good in others. Many people are so sorry for themselves that they cannot find the good in others.

8. Give thanks for these people being in your life. They are a blessing to you and probably care for you also. People tend to feel when they are cared about and appreciated. This feeling often inspires them to return the sentiment in their own way.

9. Write down what you would like to do to help others who might be feeling lonely. Thinking about others is a great way to take the focus off of your own issues.

10. Make plans to act on what you have in your list to help others overcome their loneliness. You will find that in trying to help others, you will also help yourself. You will not have to look far to find people who could use this help.

Tips & Warnings

• A good idea becomes a great testimony when you act on it. So do what you read.
• Believe that you can choose how you feel.

Resources

• MY RESOURCES

[FrazzledNanny]

on 1/29/2009 Well written and very helpful article. Thanks for the thoughtful perspective. 5*

[GilinAtlanta]

on 12/31/2008 Good article for us who feel lonely most of the time. Thank you.

[multitalented]

on 12/29/2008 Good article. Well written with great insights. Very compassionate.

[thegritsdotcom]

on 12/28/2008 Wonderful and thoughtful article; thank you!

[MidniteWriter]

on 12/27/2008 These are wonderful steps, not the usual run of the mill advice. I like the 3 people and list ideas. If you are thankful, also, it's hard to be lonely at the same time. And remember, we are never truly alone. God is always walking beside us.