Things You'll Need:
- Fame
- Obnoxiousness
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Step 1
Buy a Toyota Prius. There are at least a hundred hybrids on the market right now, but the Prius is the only hybrid that is unmistakably a hybrid. What's the point of driving a hybrid if no one can tell that it's a hybrid? It's not about saving gas, it's about accessorizing.
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Step 2
Use only one square of toilet paper per sitting. According the apparently world renown environmental scientist, Sheryl Crow, using too much toilet paper is contributing in a major way to global warming, something to do with trees, she thinks. It would be better to have an entire population with chaffed buttocks than to use a little extra toilet paper.
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Step 3
Remove one of the 60 inch plasma screens from your private jet. One flight from LA to SF produces more pollution than the average person will produce in a year but, come on, two plasma screens? That's just wasteful; remove one and you'll be doing your part to save the environment.
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Step 4
Film yourself giving a power point presentation on how carbon dioxide emissions are causing global warming. Don't tell anyone the inconvenient truth that you live in a mansion that consumes so much power that its relative carbon dioxide emissions is 500 times that of a normal home. Fly your private jet to universities and conferences that use American tax dollars to pay you to speak about reducing carbon dioxide emissions. Win an Academy Award and a friggin Nobel Prize for your actions.
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Step 5
Call anyone that doesn't 100% agree with you about how to go green, ignorant and stupid.
