How to Write a Dear John Letter to End a Relationship

A Dear John letter is a letter that someone writes to their romantic partner in order to end the relationship. These letters have undoubtedly been around for centuries, but they became known as Dear John letters when women sent them to their soldier boyfriends and husbands during World War II. Now, they are sent in a variety of ways, not all of which are tasteful. Here's how to write a Dear John letter with taste and compassion.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Take the time to write out the letter on paper. Never type up a Dear John letter or send an email or text message. Even though the romantic relationship is over, your ex-partner should be treated with respect. A text message or other electronic Dear John letter would only make the other person feel insulted.

2. Be clear about your intentions and the reason for the break up. The reason that you give doesn't necessarily have to be accurate, but it must be clear. Tell your romantic partner clearly that your relationship is over and that there is no chance for reconciliation. If the reason is something like distance, age, schedules or an argument, state the reason directly. If the reason is something that you dislike about your partner, tell them that the two of you are simply not compatible. Incompatibility is a good reason for a break up and it will not be questioned too closely.

3. Keep the words and tone of the Dear John letter respectful. Refrain from any name calling, insults or unnecessary talk about bad times that you have had together.

4. Offer a face-to-face meeting to discuss the breakup if your ex-partner wants one. This can give your partner the kind of closure that the letter may not give him or her. It can also be a time that you return items that belong to each other.

5. End the letter with an upbeat wish for your ex-partner to have a good future. Tell your ex that he or she is someone who will certainly find someone else that will make them happy.

[ShannaFuentes]

on 9/30/2009 Great article on how to write a dear John letter to end a relationship!! That was horrible of women to do back than when their men were fighting in a war!! That's always what I think of when I think of a Dear John letter!