How to Avoid and Deal with Cyber Bullying
In this day of the Internet, cyberbullying has become a documented phenomenon. This article offers some steps to identifying, understanding, avoiding, and dealing with cyberbullying.
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Instructions
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First, understand that cyber bulling is basically the Internet version of real-world bullying. It can involve making threats, and/or hurtful or slanderous statements via e-mails, message boards, chat rooms, text messages, or instant messages.
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As you would expect, the only real advice to follow is to simply ignore the cyber bully. If the bullying is directed at you privately and specifically, such via an e-mail or text message, simply do not respond. Understand that you are not going to punish or teach the person a lesson. You are not going to get the last word in. Even if you respond with compassion, you are not going to get the person to see the error of their ways, unless you happen to be Mike Brady addressing daughter Marcia. Very few people in the real world have that "Marcia Brady moment" where they'll sit contemplatively and say, "Gee, you're right. I was wrong. I never thought of it that way, but from now on I will. Thanks for pointing that out to me."
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Obviously if you receive any very specific threat via any electronic form, you can consider informing the appropriate law-enforcement officials. Understand that unless the threats are very specific, and traceable, and consistent, they will likely not be able to help you. The police will almost certainly just tell you to not respond in any way. Remember, the cyber bully is looking for attention in any form. Even if you write back to them with an e-mail that contains nothing but a semicolon, that will be enough to keep them going.
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Understand that if someone directs something nasty to you, for example, by way of a hurtful comment on an article of yours, they are almost certainly saying something to you that at one time was said to them. For example, they may have been told that they are a failure by their teacher or parent, and so they feel as though they can make things right, and create balance in the universe if they go around saying that same thing to others, even totally out of context. Of course it doesn't make them feel any better, so they keep doing it. Again, just totally ignore the person, and take it from who it comes. If you respond to the person in any way, you are keeping the cycle going.
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Cyber bullies who work their craft on message boards, forums and chat rooms are sometimes referred to as trolls. These people look to derail whatever is taking place on the board or in the room. Sometimes they may do this by asking random rhetorical questions, or by saying hurtful or slanderous things. In this case, you must do your part as a good group member by completely ignoring the person. If no one at all responds, the bully will quickly seek amusement elsewhere. If even one person chimes in to say something to the bully, even if it is just a polite request for him/her to stop, then the bully got exactly what s/he was looking for. It is up to everyone to just simply ignore the person.
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Remember, some people are destined to be alone in this world, as a result of their actions. That will not change until they are ready for it to change. You will not in any way speed the process along by responding to the person in any way, whether it is positively or negatively. It is also not your place to do the universe's bidding. The person will learn their life's lessons in their own time, or perhaps not at all.
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Keep in mind that if you want to be a compassionate person, and we all like to think of ourselves in those terms, by far the best thing you can do for the bully is to ignore him/her. Only in solitude can we see the error of our ways, which is why monks will often meditate in solitude for long periods of time. Of course this technique is often used on inmates. The best way of dealing with a cyber bully, both for you and for them, is to completely and totally ignore him/her, and take pity. If you like to pray for people, you could pray that the bully will quickly learn that s/he will have a happier life if s/he befriends people and offers kind words, rather than continuing to do what s/he does.
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