Understanding the Moods of Men

Moods affect a relationship in many different ways, both good and bad. Men have a range of moods that are based on factors ranging from underlying personality to the particular situation they are facing. By understanding men's moods in general, you can learn to better deal with relationship issues as they arise.

Instructions

1. Understand how the male brain works. Men predominately use the left hemisphere of their brain, which controls logical, analytical, mathematical and verbal thinking methods. Women, on the other hand, use the right side of their brain more. Since men rely on a different set of thinking methods to approach situations, this often tends to affect their mood and how they react during various situations.

2. Watch male-targeted movies. I know this may seem like a stereotype--or a really boring or unnerving idea to many women--but the truth is, men watch these movies for a reason. Although all men aren't the war-torn lovers and soldiers Hollywood might portray, there is some method to the madness. Some of these movies offer great insight into the way men feel when talking to other men, and not in the midst of women who may inhibit their security in communication.

3. Learn the individual male's trigger points. Men are no different then women when it comes to being upset by certain factors; it is the ways in which the sexes react that separates them. Men tend to be much more introverted when it comes to expressing their feelings (which is more of a right-brained trait). Many times, men feel as if they show their feelings outwardly, it will be taken as a weakness; instead, they may act out in other ways. They can become withdrawn, use excessively negative language and avoid contact, all of which help them avoid having to say what is on their minds and in their hearts.

4. Ready yourself for the onslaught. When men are in the "mood" to talk about problems and feelings, they can often seem too direct to women. Often, this comes off as rudeness or insensitivity, but the man is honestly just trying to deal with a situation in the way his brain works. Men generally think in terms of logistics instead of ethics, and would rather directly say what is on their minds and come to a swift resolution when in these situations. They only resort to this action if they feel compelled to speak about their feelings in the first place. When they are ready to "fix" a situation, they will rattle off a bunch of issues at once and try to fix them all. To women, this may seem hurtful or uncaring; they need more time to focus on the problem before a resolution can be discussed. However, remember that most men will not freely offer up their true feelings.

5. Understand that distance doesn't mean distraction. Men will not enter into commitments until they feel they are ready, and if they are pushed, will be more likely to give up altogether. If men seem distant, however, it does not necessarily mean they are not thinking about issues that are currently relevant. Since men have a harder time talking about feelings, it is less likely they will discuss how they feel, and more likely that are bottling up emotion. This can sometimes be detrimental to the cause, as women want reassurance that issues are being thought about. Most of the time, it is internal thought that is not outwardly portrayed until a "shaken-bottle" effect happens and there is an explosion of emotion.

6. Comfort men even if they resist. Recent studies have found that one of the biggest reasons men cheat in marriage is because they don't feel valued. While women often ask for positive reinforcement regarding how they look or about their day-to-day activities, men, on the other hand, don't. This is why husbands in troubled marriages often have affairs with women who work side-by-side with them. The men in these studies stated that women at their jobs often complimented them on their performance, which was a missing link in their own marriages. Many of these same men admitted that looks had little to do with their unfaithfulness. This was a major discovery, undermining the long-held misconception that men are only visually stimulated, and that this is the biggest factor in their unfaithfulness.

Tips & Warnings

• Counseling can be an effective tool in striving to understand a man. Having a mediator often allows for uninhibited discussion, and professionals may also be able to give more in-depth insight into a specific personality.

• Lumping all men into the same category is a mistake. Snap categorizations may frustrate a situation that calls for deeper understanding.

Resources

• Extra insight on men
• More information on men's moods