How to Read People's Body Language

Body language is an extremely important way of communicating for humans. If your words don't back up what your body is saying, people will feel uneasy about trusting you or believing you. This can be turned on others to ascertain whether or not they are telling you the truth, how they are feeling in social situations, etc.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Self-awareness
• A camcorder
• Tailored clothes

1. Reading body language takes skill, patience, practice, and quick eyes. Many body language moves are momentary and are hard to catch.

2. The quick eye-brow flash upwards indicates surprise, but can also indicate attraction or familiarity. Watch next time someone sees you for the first time, if they flash their eyebrows, they are subconsciously trying to open their eyes wider to see more of you because they like what they see.

3. The stance in which we find ourselves indicates our level of comfort or happiness. Notice how when you are with good friends in a comfortable environment you have no problem sitting easily, with a casual and approachable stance. Remember though when you are in a new situation, and you cross your arms or slightly hunch your shoulders--you are uncomfortable. Notice these changes in others as well. If someone has their arms crossed, is sitting with their back slightly hunched, or facing inward from the center of the room, they are subconsciously trying to shield themselves. This also applies to when people are lying to you.

4. Wondering if someone is sending 'go' signals to be approached in a bar or social setting? Notice where their belly button is pointing. If someone sees you and likes what they see, they will unintentionally point their torso towards the most important thing in the room. The person sitting at the bar might be looking in the other direction, but if their body is swiveled towards you, you may have an interested party. Notice also the direction of the feet. Are they pointed in your direction? When standing, another tell of attraction can be when a person places one foot slightly closer to their object of affection. Go out and next time you see a group of people, notice the position of their feet--it will automatically give you an indication of who is attracted to whom.

5. Another indication of attraction are preening gestures. Women do it all the time, they flirt, lick their lips, toss their hair, play with their jacket, rub their arms, toss back their head, all to attract attention to their femininity and to subconsciously seduce the opposite sex. Men on the other hand, will attempt to take up as much space as they can to appear to be masculine and virile. They may sit with their legs spread to draw attention to their package. They may speak in a louder voice, they will most likely stand up straighter, and may stretch their arms back to show off their muscles and take up more space. It sounds silly, but it is the mating dance of life.

6. If you really want to test your skills, invite your friends over for an old-fashioned card game of BS. Even if you lose the entire game, call BS on each one of your friends, MOST OF THE TIME. Observe them carefully when they announce how many cards they are laying down. Are they fidgeting? Are their arms crossed? Do they look nervous or unsure? Do they look overly confident? Many try to cover for lies with overt bravado or by mimicing those 'truthful' gestures, such as looking everyone in the eye, etc. The better you know the person, the easier it will be to tell based on their body language if someone is lying or telling the truth.

7. This is where the camcorder comes in. To truly be able to read other's body language, you must see it in yourself. Wear tailored clothes, and have a friend videotape you. Notice how YOU behave. This is especially helpful if you can somehow manage to forget you are being filmed. Even more helpful is for this to happen at a party or social event. You can recall how you were feeling during said event and notice the correlations to your body language. Did you shrink when your intimidating boss joined your group? Did you subconsciously turn towards the object of your affection, no matter where they were in the room? Notice these and realize that the body language code is nearly universal, if you can see them in yourself you can see them in others.

Tips & Warnings

• Just because someone is sitting with their arms crossed, doesn't necessarily mean they are disinterested or untrustworthy. They may just be shy.

[Alabastyre]

on 4/23/2009 This article is useful and informative. Much of this can be learned from observation and experience. Another simple game that I fould helpful when distingushing personality characteristics is -apples to apples-.