How to Save Your Marriage from an Adulterous Affair

Our discussion group brought up the subject of divorce. And the general opinion was that adultery was the number one cause for divorces. Despite the apparent common occurrences, adultery is not merely another way of living. Adultery is morally wrong, destructive and emotionally toxic. It is an assault against healthy and wholesome living. Fortunately marriages can survive and even thrive after being attacked by an adulterous affair. Therefore, if you meant the wedding vows that you promised before God and others, then stand by your commitments. Now pay attention women.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Love
• Commitment
• Patience
• Faith

1. You must first understand that a person who commits adultery is sick. Remember that you promised “in sickness and in health…” Well this is not the health time, but it is still part of the vows.

2. The next thing to do is to decide that you love your husband and will love him unconditionally. This means that you want what is best for him -which of course is you. Whoever the “home invader” is, she is apparently too self absorbed to really love your husband. If she cared about him, she would want to make sure that their relationship would not hurt him. The only way that she could do this is to talk it over with the one who knows him best- which is you.

3. The other thing you need to do is decide to be the type of wife that will make him want to return home. You don’t have to be weird and kinky, just be the loving, caring and interesting woman that will help him enjoy being around you. You should know him better than the home wrecker. Use what you know. This means that another woman may be an obstacle, but not a problem.

4. Now after making sure that you are not the issue for your husband wanting to cheat, let us concentrate on recovering what is yours. Decide in advance that divorce is not an option. The consideration for divorce is not even on the table. NO WAY. That’s it. That’s all.

5. Consider acts of infidelity as an attack against your family and not merely a blow to your ego. Get your war paint or have a cosmetologist do a real good job giving you a pretty make up job. Have fun because you are about to launch a fight for your family- in a loving way. This means you are going to stand firm- and not argue.

6. Now this is an essential element of the battle plan. Make sure that you have a support team (2 or more is best) of spiritually strong women that will have your back- in prayer. You will read more about this a little later.

7. Understand that an outsider has no right to undermine all of the hard work and investment that has already been placed in your relationship. Make your intentions known to keep your marriage. Put it in writing to avoid arguing. I repeat, DO NOT allow yourself to get baited into an argument.

8. Write a letter of apology for anything that you may have thought, said or done to hurt him. Do this even if you do not know of anything that you did wrong. Be an example of making peace. REMEMBER-DO NOT ARGUE.

9. Arrange to meet the other woman and let her know that you and your one flesh relationship will remain. You have every right as your husband’s wife to speak to the one who has the nerve to try to steal your marriage. Do not get baited into an argument.

10. Rally your spiritual support team to start your prayer regimen. Start praying that the “home invader” turn her life around. Pray that she becomes a holy and God fearing woman. Also pray that she falls passionately in love with SOMEONE ELSE other than your husband. Additionally, pray that your husband forsakes all others and that his love and heart's desire is only for you; and that you love and desire only him. Ultimately, people want to be loved, appreciated, cared for and respected.

11. Decide and pray that you will forgive any and all infidelity after he agrees to start over. Pray that both of you forget all the hurtful words and practices so that your relationship can heal. Pray that your love for each other grows stronger than ever. Then expect to face the future with a whole new perspective.

12. Thank God daily for saving your marriage and family.

Tips & Warnings

• If your husband insists that he is in love with another woman, realize that he must be temporarily insane. How could he possibly even know that he is in love with her when she has not been tested with years of issues as you have? It really is not even logical to compare a courtship with a marriage. Therefore you will not attempt to persuade or negotiate with him under any circumstances. Your issue is with the other woman. She is somehow controlling him.
• Let the "home invader" know that she will not be able to afford to enjoy a relationship with your husband. Let her know that you know where she lives and that you will post everything about her cruelty to your internet family. (This is not really advised but was fun adding it to the list.)
• Expose any proven infidelity with anyone who might be able to help, including the children. Do not try hide it. This is why so many affairs flourish. The shame and secrecy make it impossible to address rationally.

[Cherrie]

on 1/16/2009 I like your point Nr. 3 the best. Life is more complicated through the times. People forget that a vow is vow. If you transgress it, the punishment must come, if not in this life, in your next one. Thanks for your aticle.

[TheMoreYouKnow]

on 1/11/2009 Very informative and approachable. 5ive *Tars.

[sneedc]

on 1/4/2009 He might need to be the type of HUSBAND that a WIFE needs at home?! It goes both ways, but I understand what you are saying: I like the part about the cheater being "sick" and needing help. We do need to work through our stuff instead of pitching many years together....LIFE IS COMPLICATED! 5* for your approach!

[soanyway]

on 12/27/2008 I don't know......

[Teachforever]

on 12/26/2008 Great advice! You hit the target.5*****