How to Let Your Son Be a Man

Sons are a special breed. They are part woman. Unlike daughters who are part man, sons are more influenced how their mother chooses to let them follow becoming a man. Although there are many moms responsible for raising sons more readily, it is not they who most train themselves to instill the power of being self-sufficient in a son by letting go and letting him be a man. Sons need manly trades and thinking whether there is a full time dad are not, but they also need drive to want to grown up. What can a mom do? The tips is based for woman responsible for sons living with them via, single parenthood, divorce or having been widowed.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• to follow some of the suggestions in this article if you've been told you need to let go of your son or have feelings that your son is way too dependent on you as his mother

1. STOP BABYING. If you're son is still at home and over twenty-one and you find yourself as his mother still doing his laundry, cooking for him nightly and even straightening up his room or making his bed, STOP doing it. You are setting him up for an almost impossible transition of being a responsible adult and sharing caring husband. Young men and women need to have a sense of personal daily duty of taking care of themselves.

2. GIVE HIM AN ULTIMATUM and mean. Hopefully, while finding yourself babying your son, you have kept a relationship with him that is not dangerous. If this is the case and he has found himself now leeching on you financially, tell him he needs to get a job are you both will be homeless because you can not pay the bills any more. Give him the alternative to find a job or you will have to move and he will have to find a way to fend for himself.

3. USE THIS ALTERNATIVE for an older son, under the same circumstances as Step 2, tell him he has got to find a job and get a room or an apartment within a specified amount of time, because you are moving into a smaller place and he can not come.

4. NO MORE TRANSFERRING OF LOVE. You can not replace the love of a man, lack of it or desire to have love from a mate to getting attention from your son. Stop confiding in your boy. It is not fair to you, him or any woman or girl that he may soon or later get serious with. There is a limit to your affection and do not walk around half-naked or naked around your son, period.

5. NO MORE LOANS. If he has a brand new car, he should have thought out the responsibility of taking care of it. You can bail him out on a couple of issues, a driving ticket that as a new driver in a big city he may get a couple of times, but paying for gas, insurance, car notes; these are sons of dependency that your son does not need of you.

6. DON'T BUY HIM BOXERS and SOCKS. His a big boy. He can figure out what size and style he likes. If he hasn't figured out from your training him as a boy about the different effects from wearing different garments, then that's his business. Also do step 7.

7. 
    

   GIVE UP on giving him large sums of money and buying him expensive shoes, pants and other clothing. An occasional sweater or holiday gift is fine. A weekly allowance, monthly clothes shopping is a no no.

Tips & Warnings

• These article suggestions could also help with dilating overly effeminate ways and momma boy syndrome in young men.
• You are not being a bad mother by allowing your son to make his way in life.
• Boys who need to train for being head of households or at the least strong husbands that will be positive and reassuring fathers for their family and or children.
• Men must learn to live independent from their mothers.
• Too much pampering from a mother of a son for too long into adulthood could have an adverse effect for him when she is gone and with sharing a normal relationship with a woman
• If you find yourself wanting to curl up in bed with your grown son, this maybe an issue that you need to check about yourself.

Resources

• How to Recognize a Momma's Boy
• How to Be a Momma's Boy
• How to Date a Momma's Boy

[NuttyMomma]

on 2/5/2009 I did a lot of this also. I now have a 19 year old son who lives on his own, can take care of himself (cooks,cleans,etc) goes to work and school and is a good man. Sure at times I wanted to baby him but I learned from others who made that mistake!!!
5* - great advice.

[rayjsm]

on 1/31/2009 Excellent article. Everybody needs to learn to become responsible and think independently. If you apply these principles in raising your children, it will happen sooner rather than later. 5*

[2plus2]

on 1/27/2009 Great advice. The worse thing you can do for your sons future happiness as an individual as well as being in a relationship is do too much for him and not allow him to grow up and learn from life's experiences, that includes financial management. No potential partner will want to hear from your son "Well, my mom does it this way" - that is a sure fire way to ruin a relationship. Great article.

[alienangel555]

on 1/2/2009 Yeah, you have to let them go at some point. 5 and recommend

[changeling]

on 12/26/2008 Great advice. My son is 16 and I and his father instill this in him already.