How to Reconcile With A Sibling After A Fight

reconciliation

If it happened in your life that you had a big fight with your brother or sister and that fight caused deep scars in your emotion and opened up a gap in your relationship, reconciliation can be daunting but still possible. I have few suggestions:

Things You'll Need

• Willing spirit
• Forgiveness

Instructions

1. 

   Be willing to forgive and forget what happened. This is the hardest step but it is the most crucial step of all. No one is too willing to forgive especially if you are the first one being hurt. Asking for forgiveness is easier when you did the damage but hard to accept when you are the victim. But forgive anyway. That includes yourself and your sibling. You will free yourself from the emotional burden you carried with you especially if the fight happened long time ago. Most important of all, accompany this step with prayer. Prayer is powerful. It changes things even the hardened heart filled with anger.

2. 

   Be the first to reach out. It could be hard to swallow your pride, but taking the first step to reconciliation is a big leap to bridge the emotional gap that has surfaced. Your sibling may still be hostile towards you. But don't give up. It may be that he is just too proud to reach out himself and just waiting for you to make a move. You save yourself the agony of waiting longer.

3. 

   Think of happy times shared. If you were the one who was hurt deeply, resentment comes easy. But remember that your sibling is a part of you, a part of your family, who may be as strong as you are when it comes to emotions. To soften the hurt you feel, try to recall happy memories you shared with that sibling. You will be surprised to find out that there are more happy times you can ever think of than the instances when he hurt you.

4. 

   Keep your mouth shut. It is always tempting to share our woes and criticism against the sibling who hurt us to anyone who will listen but sometimes it's better to keep it to ourselves. The less you said, the less you will regret later on. Save your words to the sibling you want to reconcile with. It will save you a lot of additional heartaches which could be avoided if you know how to control your words.

5. 

   Let time heal the wounds but don't wait too long. Give yourself and the other sibling the chance to heal the wounds that were inflicted. Time heals wounds and usually it does bring healing to both sides. However, do not allow yourself to drift away from each other too long. It could be too late to reconcile. Life is too short. Don't waste most of it by harboring hurt feelings.

Resources

• How to Make Arguments Less Painful
• How to Disagree Politely
• Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too
• Loving Each One Best: A Caring and Practical Approach to Raising Siblings