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Step 1
Change your perspective on the words "I'm Sorry". Apologizing to someone doesn't mean that "they win" or that they are better than you. Believing that will only make it hard, if not impossible, for you to ever apologize even when you are wrong.
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Step 2
Know that I'm sorry is just the beginning. Like I said in Step 1, "I'm sorry" are just two words strung together. When you apologize to someone, you are acknowledging that they felt wronged by something you did, said, didn't do, or didn't say. Notice that I said THEY FELT WRONGED, apologizing to someone is rarely about you, usually about them and their feelings. So, put your pride aside, and know that you are taking the first step in healing the problem.
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Step 3
If you don't feel that what you did was wrong, don't apologize for it. But, bear in mind that you should apologize for HOW YOU MADE THAT PERSON FEEL. After all, it is their perception of your actions that defines whether they were hurt or not. In the best case, they'll explain why they felt wronged. In the worst case, you can use the tried and true, "I'm sorry that I hurt you."
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Step 4
Know that for some people, "I'm Sorry" is needed to move on from the problem. Some people don't care for apologies. Others don't care for apologies without action behind them. In a lot of cases, the person just wants you to realize that they feel hurt by something and I'm sorry is a good place to start.
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Step 5
If you know you're wrong, just say it! Dancing around the subject can frustrate your partner and just shows stubbornness and pride!
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Step 6
If you're apologizing in a professional situation, keep it short and don't make excuses. Just apologize, take steps to immediately begin remedying the situation, and ensure your employer that it will not happen again. If they ask for an explanation, tell the truth but don't make it sound like you are trying to excuse your mistake.
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Step 7
If you're on the receiving end of an apology, be appreciative and not haughty. Let them know that you appreciate their apology and that you will forgive them, if not now, soon. Then, actually forgive them! Life is too short!
Comments
dtwelloh said
on 2/6/2009 Good information and something we shoud all learn. Well written article, I give it 5 stars as well as a recommendation.
Thims said
on 12/14/2008 "Apologizing to someone doesn't mean that "they win" or that they are better than you." YES IT DOES!!! Oh, I'm sorry...I really appreciate this article and I have should be more attentive to your every whim...HOW'S THAT!? ;-) This is a most excellent article which we all can take a lesson from.
meacham01 said
on 12/12/2008 A very meaningful and heart felt article. I'm sorry means so much if it is sincere
frenchwriter said
on 12/11/2008 Hello Melissa:
I like your article about apologizing. Life is indeed too short. At sixty I often wondered where it all went. Grateful you took the time to show us it is an important quality to be able to humble yourself. God is good and gives us the choice of giving to the other person a way out. I was told not long ago by a lady "Michel, I am sorry." Yes, Darlene,that if fine.
Shalom. Michel 5 etoiles et a bientot.