How to Discourage a Man From Bothering You in France

A woman traveling alone in France long enough will almost inevitably encounter at least one French man whose persistent attention or come-ons are unwelcome. The following steps should help shake one of these slimy fellows, called a "draguer" in French.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• French Dictionaries
• French Phrase Books
• Airline Tickets

1. Ignore him. He's looking for attention, so if you don't pay him any, he may get bored and look elsewhere.

2. If that doesn't work, try giving him a look that means, "Don't even think about messing with me, you speck of dirt." It's important to appear confident even if that's not the way you're feeling.

3. Walk away. If someone sits down next to you, get up and leave without comment. If someone walks alongside you uninvited, turn around and walk in the other direction.

4. If the previous steps don't work, tell him, "Laissez-moi tranquille," which means, "Leave me alone."

5. He's still there? Invent a husband or boyfriend. Try, "J'ai un petit ami," or, "I have a boyfriend," then walk away again.

6. If all else fails, raise a ruckus and embarrass him into leaving you alone. Shout, "Au secours!" (Help!), or call for "la police."

Tips & Warnings

• The more confident and assertive you appear, the less likely you are to be bothered by draguers. They often enjoy preying on women whom they think will be shocked or flustered by their advances.
• Don't expect men to leave you alone just because you tell them you're an American and you don't speak French. They'll enjoy the opportunity to practice their pick-up lines in English.
• Most men who pester you will be harmless, but always be aware of your safety. If you feel at all threatened, immediately look for a well-lit, densely populated place for safety.

[frenchwriter]

on 11/4/2008 You meant probably 'DRAGUEUR" this is the way some French guys operate. My style when I was in France was to invite a girl dancing. It is easier when she is in your arms...LOL. If you are a good dancer, and I have danced with the best of them at Bastille days here in Milwaukee, is to simply walk away. Not look, not say anything, no fear...and that is the best deterrent. Michel de La Bassee

[MrsLizzy]

on 7/15/2007 Another useful phrase: "Vous rigolez!" "You're joking!" Not meant literally and accompanied with the appropriate expression - it will still be understood as a definite brush-off.

on 11/22/2005 If a stranger volunteers to help you, assume a scam is possible. Seek help with tickets and travel from qualified persons.

on 11/22/2005 Something important to remember when visiting France is not to smile at passing strangers (especially on the bus or metro). While in America it is perfectly normal to smile or nod at strangers with whom you happen to achieve eye contact. In France this may be construed as you showing interest.