How to wrap yourself as a Christmas present

Christmas is a time of giving. What more could you give your sweetheart than yourself. This article will tell you how to do this!!

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Yourself
• Hooker Boots
• A toy gun
• One big ribbon

1. You are sexy, hot, and your significant other wants nothing more on Christmas to see you under the tree. Step one take a shower no one wants to smell any nasty funk.

2. Put on your hooker boots. Everyone has a pair, even your grandma.

3. Put on that bow. Make sure to cover your private areas so that he/she has something to unwrap. Make sure to keep some skin showing.

4. To tie a bow can be tricky. First divide the ribbon in half grabbing the middle.

5. Start wrapping the ribbon. Experiment to see what is sexiest. Find that inner fashion designer within.

6. Find your inner sexiness and wait for your significant other to arrive. I suggest sipping some adult beverages.

7. When the time finally occurs, remember to shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, come over here and unwrap your present. Remember to ask if he/she has been a good boy/girl.

8. See what they got you for Christmas. It better be good.

Tips & Warnings

• Get thick ribbon
• This can also be used at Hanukkah or for a birthday present
• Make sure you and your significant other are the only ones home
• If on a reality tv show, do not try.

[lildutchgirl56]

on 12/22/2008 Bubble wrap could be fun too!