How to Make Money

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By Kate Lund
User-Submitted Article

Article Rating:

(12 Ratings)

cash - lots of it.

This article will teach you how to make money fast and legally. There are a few essentials you must learn in order to MAKE MONEY FAST!

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Step 1

Purchase a lottery ticket. Cross your fingers. Pray. Check the nightly news. Repeat every day for the rest of your life.
Step 2

Dye your hair blonde. Augment your breasts. Get a little lypo and/or some collagen and botox injections. Peruse the halls of ritzy retirement homes. Find an elderly man on his last days and seduce his poor little soul. Then, secure yourself a spot in his will (preferably the ONLY spot).
Step 3

This step has three sub-steps:
1 - Go back and be reborn into British royalty.
2 - Apply for a name change. Try your luck at TRUMP or ROCKAFELLER.
3 - CASH IN.
Step 4

Discover something wonderful. Maybe you've found the oldest human leg bone known in the world. Perhaps you've discovered the cure for cancer. Whatever it is that you decide to discover, be sure it's original. Then, cash in and sit back.

Tips & Warnings

DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as a joke. It is not intented to provide any real means by which to make money. In fact, this article proves the absurdity of such a notion of "getting rich quick" and "without any real effort."
SEE TIPS.
MAKING MONEY not guaranteed.

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