How to Get Your Wife to Stop Nagging

Knowing why your wife nags you can help you best figure out how to make the problem stop.

Marriage comes with ups and downs, sometimes even throughout a single day. One issue where men and women differ is in regards to expectations of getting things done, levels of communications and general compatibility. If you have a wife who nags you, either on occasion or on a regular basis, you will need to work together to get the pattern to stop or at the least, slow down in frequency.

Things You'll Need

• Journal

Instructions

1. Start writing down in a journal every time you feel your wife nags you. Be as fair in your description as possible. Note what she said, how she said it and what you said or did in response. Write down the source of the nagging and what led up to the event.

2. Tell your wife calmly and rationally that she is nagging you. Do this immediately following any incident involving nagging. Do not use inflammatory or derogatory language, rather simply tell your wife that she is being overtly persistent in telling you something. Ask her to sit down and discuss the matter with you.

3. Ask your wife to explain why she is focusing in so intently on the issue at hand. For example, if your wife has been nagging you for multiple days about getting the garage cleaned out, ask her what the urgency is in getting the job done. Explain the reasons why you have delayed doing the work, such as being tired from your normal job or having been involved in other household projects. Get your wife to understand that you are not ignoring her or any of your responsibilities, but you are rather delayed due to other reasons.

4. Request that your wife leave you notes about things that need done or discussed, by leaving a note on the refrigerator or beside the bed. Explain to your wife that you would prefer to have a fair chance to get things done or completed before being made to feel inferior to her, which is a result of the nagging. Tell your wife directly that when she nags you it makes you feel inadequate and the behavior irritates you.

5. Review your journal to see what key issues tend to bring about nagging. Discuss the most common topics that bring about nagging and miscommunication. Find a resolution to those topics to prevent nagging in the future. Know that your wife will still ask you if things have to be done, however you should have a marital rule established that neither person can harp on the same subject more than two to three times per week. Reach an agreement that if an issue has to be addressed more than three times, the two of you will sit down together and jointly find a solution.

Tips & Warnings

• Know that you may need to seek couples counseling if you and your wife cannot get along and nagging becomes a bothersome occurrence in your marriage.

• Never use derogatory words or violence when fighting with your spouse.

References

• Mayo Clinic: Stress Management: Identify Your Sources of Stress
• "Good Housekeeping"; Habits of the Happiest Couples I Know; Andrea Frazer
• Mayo Clinic: Marriage Counseling
• "Good Housekeeping"; 5 Habits of the Happiest Couples I Know Read more: 5 Habits of the Happiest Couples I Know; Andrea Frazer; March 2010
• Shine; 5 Habits of Happy People Even the Biggest Grump Can Borrow; Sarah McColl; March 2010