How to Handle Family Tension at Your Wedding

Tensions between relatives can dampen the joy of your wedding day, but with the right attitude and a positive approach, you can practically eliminate family friction.

Difficulty: Moderately challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Stress Management Counseling
• Stress Relief Products
• Wedding Planner Book
• Aromatherapy Gift Set
• Champagne
• Dinner Reservations

1. Present a united front with your spouse-to-be. Talk about your apprehensions and decide how you'll face them as a couple.

2. Open a checking account expressly for wedding expenses, and have all contributors (parents, in-laws) each submit a predetermined amount. This will prevent unnecessary comparisons and the 'I paid for this' superiority complex.

3. Sit down with everyone involved (individually, if the situation is awkward) and air your concerns. Explain that your wedding day should be one of your happiest and that family members can help by putting aside their differences for one day.

4. Split up wedding duties - if you want to ask the bride's biological father to give her away, consider granting her stepfather the first dance with her at the reception.

5. Separate hostile parties. At the ceremony, seat your mother and her spouse in the front row and your father and his spouse in the third row; at the reception, avoid forcing them to sit at the same table.

6. Talk to your officiant if things seem too hard to handle. This person can talk you through your concerns and can be a positive source of support.

Tips & Warnings

• Show affection and respect when communicating with family members - let them know you value their opinions and beliefs.

[crabapple]

on 9/15/2008 If you have divorced parents there can be a tussle over who sits at the head table. To avoid this have each couple host their own table. This diffuses the issue and makes them feel important. I would definitely recommend assigned seating in such a situation. I used http://www.perfecttableplan.com/ for my wedding seating and it was great.

[weddingideas]

on 11/6/2007 It is your wedding...remember that!

on 11/22/2005 Do not send rehearsal dinner invitations to out-of-state guests 6 weeks before the wedding, when you have ONLY invited them to the wedding and post wedding brunch 10 months prior.

on 11/22/2005 Remind family members that this is your day, not theirs. i finally had to tell my mom that if she couldn't deal with my dad for a few hours for my sake then i'd rather she not come at all. that got the message accross pretty fast

on 11/22/2005 Split the aisle in two. Have one father present you and the other give you away. Ask both for their opinions. Then decide which father does what. This worked great at my wedding.