-
Step 1
Call your doctor. If it is after hours, they should have an on-call doctor available. You may have to listen to the message for a different number.
-
Step 2
When to go to the ER. It is up to you if you want to go to the ER. If you are doubled over in pain and bleeding enough to fill a new pad every hour - then you MUST go. But otherwise, you can give yourself the option of skipping a nine-hour exhausting wait only to be told that "yes, you are miscarrying and go home because there is nothing we can do." This is why it is helpful to call your on-call doctor first.
-
Step 3
Only tell those you know will support you and love you. I was glad I waited a week before telling people because some of the comments they made! One person actually said "oh, it was probably for the best."
-
Step 4
Manage your pain. Take up to four Ibuprofen tablets every 6 hours if needed. Also get some LIQUID calcium as this will help with the pain and cramping and speed up recovery. Be sure to also be taking iron supplements (your prenatals will work just fine). It’s important to prevent anemia with the blood loss and this will also speed recovery. Drink lots of water. Raspberry LEAF tea is also very helpful in toning and healing the uterus. If someone calls and ask if there is something they can do for you - tell them to go find the above items so that you can rest.
-
Step 5
Rest. This is so important and you may have to take it easy for up to three weeks. No heavy exercise whatsoever. Some websites say that it only takes two days to miscarry. This is very misleading, because it is not including the bleeding & spotting process that you go through. You will likely start spotting for a week. Then bleed heavy and then resume spotting. You will think you are done and then suddenly, you will began bleeding heavy again. This can be a 2-3 week process. And again, it is different for everyone. Talk to your doctor about d&c options.
-
Step 6
Wait. Yes, wait at least one cycle before trying to get pregnant again. This is also misleading, because this can take up to six weeks. Ask your doctor to test your hcg levels before you have sex. It should be below 5. Some doctors will tell you to wait 3 months. I was told by my doctor that she only tells patients that she feels are emotionally unstable or had a longer pregnancy to wait three months. Otherwise, one full cycle is sufficient.
-
Step 7
Don’t blame. This is so important. Don’t blame anyone or anything, especially yourself. I sat down and wrote a list of why it was my fault and this actually helped because it allowed me to move on. I truly cannot tell you how to cope with this because each person is so unique and feels in their own way.
-
Step 8
Memorialize. For me, I actually caught the fetus and when I get a chance I am going to plant it with a special tree. Even if you don’t have the fetus - you can still plant a tree. Some people get tattoos, others may use tickers to remember the date, others even name it. It’s up to you. But remember, this is YOUR angel baby and you have a right to be as attached to it as you want. No one can take that away from you.
-
Step 9
Look ahead. You WILL get pregnant again! You and your spouse WILL have as many babies as you want. You CAN get pregnant and this is the most important thing you can remember.
-
Step 10
Read my own personal account here: http://hotbellymama.blogspot.com/2008/08/one-last-hurrah-in-er.html
-
Step 11
This is the BEST site for detailed miscarriage support...
http://www.pregnancyloss.info/
Comments
kaseysviewblog said
on 1/8/2009 Good article, that is such a difficult thing to go through!
AllFYB said
on 1/6/2009 What a touching helpful article, it is true that everyone will feel something different but taking care of your health is so important when your going through this process.
Malzeke said
on 11/30/2008 This excellent!!!! I believe this will help a lot of women tremendously.