How to Survive the Death of a Loved One

Everyone, at some point in their life, will lose someone they love. But what do you do to survive this difficult time? Here are some practical tips to help you cope. It is important to remember, however, that everyone grieves differently and on their own timetable. Don't expect that your experience will be like someone else's.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. FAITH. Most people have some type of faith in their lives, whether it be the church that mom took you to every Sunday while you were growing up, or the faith you have found as you have gotten older. Now is the time to fall back on those principles and let your faith come through for you. It's not a crutch, and it doesn't mean you are weak. Faith can sustain us when we cannot sustain ourselves. Seek out a priest, rabbi, or pastor who can counsel you or direct you to someone who can. That is part of their job, so don't feel as though you are imposing on them.

2. FAMILY. Surround yourself with people who care about you, even if it is just one person. Perhaps you are especially close with one of your siblings, an aunt, or a parent. Now is the time to stay connected, not move further away.

3. FRIENDS. It's not always easy talking about grief with a friend who has never been in our shoes. But sometimes all you need is a shoulder to cry on, someone to give you a hug, or to be a sounding board when you want to talk about your loss. If your friend doesn't know what to do to help you, don't be afraid to tell them what you need. Perhaps you aren't eating the way you should, so they could bring you a meal or take you out. Whatever you need, ask, especially if they offer their assistance.

4. SUPPORT GROUPS. There are many support groups, both online and in your community, that can help you through your mourning. There are people there who have been where you are and can give you sound advice.

5. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Be sure you are getting enough rest, eating properly, and not abusing substances such as alcohol or drugs (either prescription or non-prescription).

Tips & Warnings

• Don't keep a timetable. Everyone grieves on their own schedule. You can't let anyone tell you that you should feel this today and that tomorrow. Your feelings are your own, not anyone else's.
• Writing your feelings in a journal are an excellent way to express emotions that you might not be able to express to another, such as if you are angry at your loved one for leaving you. Remember that these feelings are all normal stages of grief and you should not judge yourself (or let anyone else judge you) for having these feelings.
• If it has been several months since your loss and you do not feel yourself slowly returning to normal, or if your daily routine is not what it should be, it may be time to seek professional help. Ask your family physician or a trusted friend for a referral to a therapist.

Resources

• How to Deal With Grief
• Coping With Grief and Loss