How to Forgive

With the Christmas season upon us family and friends are bound to come calling. Even those we have issues with. To make your holidays all they can be forgiveness can be key!

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Time
• Patience
• Dedication

1. 

   The first step is to realize that holding a grudge is hurting one person above all others, you! Your angry thoughts and hurt are not affecting the other person one bit. Recognize that the grudge you are holding is like a red hot poker, held against your heart.

2. 

   The next step in your journey is to realize that forgiveness does not mean you have to leave yourself vulnerable to being hurt again. Especially in severe cases of betrayal, allowing them back in your life is not a good idea. Forgiveness means you let go of the anger and hurt not set yourself up to be injured again.

3. 

   The hardest part is to behave in a manner that reflects your forgiveness. I had a friend one time who was severely hurt by her mother in law. The lady could not help but compare her to the former Mrs who was now deceased. My friend gave me this saying to encourage forgiveness, "I have forgiven therefore I have forgotten, therefore I have no reason to hate this person"

4. 

   Practice the above saying everyday in place of the angry thoughts you have had in the past. Replace "this person" with the name of the one who hurt you. Once you have progressed some you may even be able to change the phrase "to hate" with "not to love". The choice is yours, some injuries are so severe that love is not a possibility, and that is ok too.

5. 

   Finally, forgive yourself! Many times we feel horrible about holding the grudge in the first place. Let that go as well, feel the freedom that comes when you do!

Tips & Warnings

• Take your time, it will not happen overnight
• Remember forgiveness does not mean you leave yourself open to abuse
• In cases of abuse do not embrace the abuser, do the exercise for your benefit but protect yourself from harm!!

[ceholmes]

on 6/30/2009 Man, to fogrive is so hard to do. At times, I feel myself replaying the incidents that upset me over and over again. Most ppl replay upsetting situations and this further makes you dislike the person even more. I find that stopping myself think negative thoughts dead in its tracks and it has helped me move on. Forgiveness is about letting go of the hurtful memories as well. Nothing good can ever come out of it.

[TPonce]

on 6/29/2009 I put a link to this article on my facebook... its excellent and I needed it.

[stefyspeak]

on 5/26/2009 Forgiveness is a slow process and one that requires constant practice if it is to be truly acheived. Well articulated.5*

[jenng]

on 5/10/2009 Great article on how to forgive 5*

[SchoolOfLife]

on 3/12/2009 Great article, well written too! Thanks, keep them coming! :)