How to Respond to Thumb Sucking

If you’re a parent who is upset because your child is sucking his or her thumb, here are some healthy ways to respond.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Know that thumb sucking is normal behavior. Did you know that babies suck their thumbs before they are born? It’s natural and instinctual. Between 75 to 95 percent of all infants suck their thumbs. It’s a way of calming down in a stressful moment; it’s like a security blanket helping the child to feel safe.

2. Be assured that thumb sucking will stop. As a child gains skills in dealing with stress they replace thumb sucking with other comforting rituals. Sometime between the ages of 5 and 6, a child will usually stop on their own. In times of stress or when they are tired, however, they may occasionally revert to thumb sucking. If you’re freaking out every time they put their little thumb in their mouth that will add pressure. So relax and think about how you can calm yourself. Ask yourself, "Why am I making a big deal of this?" Are you feeling pressured from relatives or worried what others might think?

3. Don’t exaggerate the problem. Thumb sucking in children younger than 4 or 5 is not a problem unless the adults make it so. Pointing it out, making fun, shaming the child, trying to get the child to stop actually reinforces the behavior by adding more pressure to what the child already is trying to manage. A child who is made to feel more anxious will actually need to calm herself down in the only way she knows.

4. Ignore thumb sucking. Children suck their thumbs most often when they’re tired, bored or stressed. Pointing out that your child is sucking his thumb will turn into nagging and the problem may become ingrained.

5. Sidestep power struggles. You will lose if you start a power struggle over thumb sucking, so don't even go there. There are postives. Studies show that kids who suck their thumbs fall asleep more easily than kids who don’t. Remember, this too will pass.

6. Adopt a “No Scolding” policy. It is striking that many well-meaning parents have actually reinforced thumb sucking by trying to forcibly take the thumb out of the child's mouth. Some folks suggest tying the thumb down, making the child wear a glove or putting bitter tastes on the thumb. I do not advocate this at all. This is cruel, and so is scolding. Do not allow any adult to scold, ridicule or shame your child.

7. Distract with a fun activity. If your child is sucking her thumb, distract her gently by getting her attention with a fun activity; play a game together or show him a toy, read a book together and let him sit on your lap. Scolding or making fun is definitely a no-no. It is not helpful. Scolding adds anxiety. Most kids by the time they start school are no longer sucking their thumbs. So relax and let relatives know that you don’t want them drawing attention to this behavior either.

8. Trust that friends provide good motivation. When your child sees that his or her friends no longer suck their thumbs, they will follow the lead. I know a woman who stopped sucking her thumb when she went to her first sleepover, and when her child started sucking his thumb, she reminded herself that friends of the same age will eventually provide the feedback and role model that is needed.

[sarahlynnknows]

on 12/9/2008 I love all of these suggestions. I am a nanny and teacher and will be a mom soon, so I am always interested in using positive reinforcements to help children. Excellent article!