How to Deal With Negitive Criticism

If you are alive here on planet earth, you have probably been confronted with criticism. For the purposes of this article we are referring to negative criticism as opposed to constructive or positive criticism.

Negative criticism is usually intended to harm you or to destroy something you have created or been responsible for completing. Often this type of destructive criticism will come from another person who is jealous, envious and egotistical.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. First and foremost, step back from the situation. Stop talking and listen or just walk away. You do not have to respond right away. Or you can just respond with a simple acknowledgment, such as, "I will consider what you have said".

2. When you do respond, do so in the opposite spirit. Instead of attacking back, or arguing with your accuser, accept a relaxed position (body language), soften your tone of voice and make non threatening statements. Say things like, "Go on, I am listening", and "Can you explain to me why you feel this way?". Often times this will disarm your accuser, allowing the situation to blow over.

3. Bounce the criticism off of others. Ask for others' insight. Ask if they see any truth within the criticism that you need to consider. The counsel of others combined with the "facts" of the criticism may help to shed some light on your personal blind spots.

4. If the criticism is invalid or untrue, do not "own" it. Let it go. If there is no truth here, do not dwell on the comment but move on.

5. If there is some truth to the accusation, embrace it and act on it in a positive manner. Use the insight you find within the criticism to better yourself. Choose to either fix your mistakes or improve your actions.

6. Thank the one who brought you the criticism. If you can improve your project, or creation or yourself in even a very small way, then they have helped you along the way.

Tips & Warnings

• When dialoging with your accuser, it is ok to let them know that you do not agree with their opinion, or that you do not see things the way they do.
• Never become over emotional in your response. Not only will it cloud the truth from you, but your stirred up emotional state will have the effect of increasing the hostility of your accuser.
• If this is a re-occurring event, the same person criticizing you on a regular basis, then go through the appropriate channels to seek help. (to a boss, parent, clergy, or even police if the accuser is in close relationship and you are feeling that this might escalate physically.
• Remember that repeated criticism is bordering on verbal abuse. You should not stay in a situation like this that will not improve.

[writinghigh]

on 7/29/2009 Fantastic suggestions. Not dwelling on false criticism is so important. 5 stars

[georgelarson]

on 11/24/2008 Nice tips. Thanks.

[LilacGirl]

on 11/23/2008 Well said! Very good advice on how to deal with negative criticism.

[sunshine11219]

on 11/23/2008 well written

[2enjoylife]

on 11/23/2008 It does help to see that even negative criticism can be usable.