How to Express Differences in Opinion without Alienating Others

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By Jen Errair
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As a mid-westerner, it was ingrained in our manners to never speak of politics or religion with others, often including family or close friends. However, different locations do not necessarily hold these same feelings, so how does one handle a situation where they wish to express a difference of opinion without alienating the other person? This article will share some ideas on how to handle such an occasion.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Step 1

Try to get a sense of the person who wants to engage in the conversation with you. Have you had a discussion on this topic before? Attempt to recall previous conversations to see if you have talked about specific beliefs or opinions previously. This can provide you with direction on how (or if) to proceed.
Step 2

Have a solid knowledge of the subject matter. If you do not feel that you can speak intelligently about the topic, keep the following mantra in mind, "It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and prove it to all the world." It is also OKAY to admit that you do not know enough about a topic to provide an educated response.
Step 3

Have an "escape plan" and know how and when to end a conversation before it spirals out of control. Many phrases can be used to end a conversation quickly such as, "You seem to be very passionate about your position, and every one is entitled to their opinion, mine differs, but I appreciate you sharing your side with me". Other options are, "This is a private matter for me, and one which I choose not to share with anyone".
Step 4

Listening is a great skill and when passions flare on a subject, we often forget to shut our mouths and open our ears. You may learn something new by listening to someone else, so be open to hearing a difference of opinion, although you never have to agree with it.
Step 5

Do not judge others too harshly for their decisions in life. We all make certain choices for very different reasons. It is not fair in a conversation to judge someone negatively for their decisions. Just learn to understand and appreciate their position.
Step 6

Do NOT become confrontational. This is never a good situation. If you find that the conversation has turned into "fightin' words", then it is time to revert to Step 3.

Comments

dlcass said

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on 1/15/2009 This is an excellent article. My friend and I agree to disagree on certain subjects as we both know we will never change the other's mind.