How to Get over an unrequited love

Member

By Justen Everage
User-Submitted Video

Unrequited love.

Is your love unrequited? Follow these steps to get over it and move on. It can be very difficult, but you can do it.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

An Open Mind

Step 1

If your love is not reciprocated, or returned you may feel depressed. You may spend way too much time thinking about it and that can disturb your focus on daily activities and responsiblitys. The first thing you need is an open mind. Be willing to be honest with yourself.
Step 2

Write down the reasons you believe the love is not reciprocated. If "I haven't had a chance to show her / him the real me" is on your list scratch it off. Don't kid yourself you are here to get over this love not plan it out in your future.
Step 3

Realize the person you love is probably better off without you. If they needed or wanted you they would probably have some desire to be with you and that desire would have already shown you enough reciprocation to stop you from trying to get over the love.
Step 4

Don't be selfish. If being with this person would make you happy, but make them unhappy, you should prefer them to be with someone else. Love is about wanting what's best for the person you love, not what's best for you.
Step 5

Don't try to contact the person you love if you already know its not a shared love. This could cause them anger or even guilt for knowing that you are in emotional pain because of them. Love can not be controlled and they can't force themselves to love you. You can't force anyone to love you either.
Step 6

If you refuse to be with anyone else, then be alone. It's not so bad, contrary to what the movies and magazines will say. After a while you learn to deal with loneliness. What you might feel now is an empty depressing void burning in your chest craving to loved, can actually be a comfortable darkend crutch supplying your soul with endless amounts of self pity allowing you to shift the blame to a cruel "fate" rather than your own shortcomings.
Step 7

Don't tell others how you feel unless you are ready for them to make fun of you and call you a baby. Sometimes you can take pride in the fact that you are able to hold tremendous amounts of misery within you and it not show on the outside.
Step 8

Don't watch sappy love movies or pay any attention to the "happy" people at the mall. Life is no fairy-tale. You may never be in love with anyone else, or even ever be happy, but you can atleast spare the person you love the awkwardness of knowing you are still in love with them.

Comments

puffytuffet said

Flag This Comment

on 11/20/2009 What a load of crap. Martyr syndrome much? This article starts out good but ends on a sad and hopeless note that is entirely unneccessary. It's not hard to find better info on dealing with unrequited love that is both helpful and positive. Next time try to remember that one person cannot make or break your life, and that no matter how much it might hurt now, heartache is never permanent unless you allow it to be.

willlove4ever said

on 4/20/2009 This brings a smile on my face :) How true and positive :)If we cant get over, we can make it a part of our life and learn to live with it :)