How to Get Along with Your Step Children
Managing a blended family is a challenge even for step parents who have a great relationship with their stepchildren. If you are having more conflict than necessary with your spouse's children, here are some guidelines that will make your home more peaceful.
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Instructions
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Realize that they are not your children. They have no obligation to please you or obey you, even if they live in your house. Commit this cold truth to memory. Now realize this, if you respect them and charm them, they will want to please and obey you. They will seek your approval if you show them love and tenderness.
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Say complimentary things about the other parent. If you recently saw the ex wife, tell the children you like their mommy's new haircut. It doesn't matter if the ex trash talks about you to the kids. You have to show them that you are a kind and loving person or you will get nowhere with them.
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In the beginning, leave all the punishing and reprimanding to the childrens' biological parents. You can tell your spouse about bad behavior, but don't punish it. Even though your spouse may say that you should reprimand them, he/she will secretly dislike you for it when you do. So don't do it until you've established your role as a parent.
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Don't force interactions between your spouses children and your children if you have them. If they don't want to mingle, let it alone. You will breed resentment in your spouse if you over step your bounds, remember, they are his/her children, not yours.
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Remember that your spouse's children will eventually grow up and leave the house. Don't waste years fighting with them for power, soon enough you will have your spouse all to yourself!
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Tips & Warnings
Pick your battles.
It may take years for the children to warm up to fully. You may not like them immediately either. Everyone has his or her own pace.
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Comments
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fully agree
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Heidi Six Hymes
Feb 17, 2011
This is an absolute crock.... want to get along? Ignore them and be the biggest Tattle tale in the house. Don't dicipline them, they will probably twist the truth and klll you in your sleep. Keep to yourself and don't give a crap about them. That's the advice of a step parent who once cared and tried to be a parent. It doesn't work and you might as well give up now !
