How to loose weight in 26 ways: from A to Zen

An article for women struggling to loose weight.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Willingness
• Enthusiasm

1. Accept: Accept that there is no weight loss gimmick. Accept that loosing weight is not easy. Accept that it will require work. Accept that it is do-able.

2. Brain: Your bathroom scale is not the most useful tool for weight loss; your brain is. Feed it well and it will reward you with positive thoughts, like a change in how you view yourself.

3. Consistency: The power of repetition. What you do all the time has visible results. If you include activity and proper eating habits in your daily regiment it will show.

4. Delusion: If you think loosing an excess of 30lbs in a month is a safe and permanent solution you are deluded. If you a think aiming for a size 00 is a realistic and sustainable goal you are deluded.

5. Exercise: Believe it. Our bodies are programmed to exercise to maintain our physical and mental well-being. Exercise equals endorphins and a better physique. A better physique and endorphins equals happy person.

6. Fact: Fact is you are what you eat; you are what you read. It’s amazing how many people know how a reproductive organ works but not a clue about the stomach. Learn how your digestive system works and the effects of what you put into your body. When you know you’ll learn how to say no.

7. Guys: Men can have an effect on your diet. Love can be slimming or fattening depending on which side of it you’re on. So if things go south don’t wallow in misery; vent on a punching bag. Vindication comes in the form of a still svelte and fabulous you.

8. Honesty: Look in the mirror often, step on the scale often, don’t be critical be honest. Don’t seek refuge in avoidance. Ask questions like why am eating this? It’s not hunger I feel but sadness or stress or boredom or loneliness or all of the above.

9. Intent: Sometimes, okay a lot of times our best intentions go awry. Don’t bludgeon yourself or raise a white flag instead resolve to get back on track with your next meal.

10. Job: Your job plays a big role in loosing weight. If you sit a lot, get up and move. If you move a lot, sit and take time out to eat properly. If you travel a lot, pack stretchy bands and use them sans gym. Eat at restaurants the same way you would eat at home. If you work from home stay clear of the wine bottle..err I mean fridge.

11. Keep: Keep it simple; no gym or complicated equipment required. It could be just you and what you like to do. Keep it fun; walk today, bike tomorrow and jump rope the day after that, mix it up. Keep it up; if you put a dollar away every day, at the end of a year you’ll have $365. If you persist at a pound every week, eventually you’ll achieve your goal.

12. Liposuction: Yep go for it but only if you have a long-term practice of eating healthy and regular exercise. If you can afford it, it is a permanent solution to spot-reduce problem areas that diet and exercise cannot rectify.

13. Menstruation: Your period can and will sabotage your diet. Never start a diet around the time of your ovulation or menses. Your body is hardwired to eat, eat and eat during this time. Placate your cravings with healthy comfort food. For sweets try low fat puddings, dark chocolate and almond wind mill cookies. For salt try popcorn, Sunchips and cashews.

14. Nonsense: Some weight loss products do not make sense and you know it. That cream from the Himalayas will not shrink your thighs nor will that shady concoction from Ouagadougou help you drop pounds. If you’re going to supplement do it with products with a proven track record.

15. Optimism: The greater your outlook, the greater your chance of succeeding. Think it to feel it. If you think positive thoughts about your weight loss endeavors, you’ll feel good about it and stick to it.

16. Pain: Too much optimism plus an abundance of enthusiasm equals overexertion. Avoid pain and be injury free by going at a pace that’s comfortably challenging.

17. Quest: Be on a quest to constantly challenge yourself. It keeps boredom at bay. It does not have to be physical; I am on a quest to find the ultimate decadent low-fat brownie recipe.

18. Rest: Sleep is an imperative quotient to weight loss. A well-rested person has the energy to do more. Also during sleep is when your body repairs the muscular wear and tear from working out. Producing a stronger leaner you.

19. Sex: Women who have regular sex are slimmer and healthier…okay the jury is still out on how much calories you actually burn during sex. However, it’s not the physical activity that stimulates weight loss but the emotional benefit. A good vigorous round that hits all the right spots eliminates stress and banishes cortisol. Also, there is the nudity factor. The more comfortable you feel in your naked body the more likely you are to get it on.

20. Time: The sad truth is gaining weight happens faster than loosing weight. Blame it on our cavemen ancestors. They had to be able to store fat quickly when food was most plentiful and loose it slowly when food was scarce. It’s the body’s anti starvation mechanism. In order words take your time, slow and steady is what your body is programmed to do.

21. Unconsciousness: It’s time for YouTune. It’s not a typo. Reign in your mind and make it do its job. Turn off the television during meal times, you will register not only how awful what you’re eating is, it will also help you register when you’re full even if it’s good food. The same goes for the gym, dig your face out of that magazine every so often and your mind will instruct your body to work harder.

22. Vanity: It is your right to be looked at twice, to turn heads and to make that unfortunate guy walk into a lamp-post from staring. You are a goddess; you are a woman after all. Yes beauty comes from within and blah, blah, blah but nurturing the shell in which it is encased allows others to be interested enough to see what is within.

23. Wardrobe: The wrong clothes for your shape will make you look fat and bloated. Your clothes can make you look 10lbs slimmer by creating a svelte silhouette and enhancing your best features.

24. XL: Xtra large portions means extra large person. Portion control is crucial. Try stuffing too much of anything into a container, it bulges, spills over or can’t fit. The same goes for food. Eating anything in excess regardless if it’s healthy will cause weight gain. Case in point, fat vegans.

25. Yummy: Eating healthy is about finding good for you foods that you enjoy. Some things you’ll acquire a taste for and some things you won’t. You’re sabotaging yourself if you keep eating things that gross you out. Sooner or later you’ll jump ship and land on an entire apple pie.

26. Zen: Find your own path to weight loss enlightenment. What works for your friend may not work for you. Realize that loosing weight is not the miraculous answer to lifes’ problems. However, a sound body inline with a sound mind will equip you with the power to see possibilities, enable solutions and create your own utopia.