How to Get Along With a Significant Other's Children

Getting along with another person's children can be a task. If there was a divorce before you two got together, the situation can be even more challenging, especially if there are still ill feelings towards the ex-husband or ex-wife. But getting along with a person's children means getting to know that child, looking past your significant other and looking past the situation before you came into the picture.

Instructions

1. Remind yourself that your significant other's children are not yours. If you have children already and are used to them acting a certain way, don't go into the relationship thinking his children will be a carbon copy of yours in mannerisms, behavior and interests. These children have already created their own personalities and were content with them before you came along, and their parents were probably content with them too. It's easier to learn and adjust to children's personalities than it is to change them.

2. Tread slowly on bossing the children around and expecting them to come to your every whim. These children are not used to you and will take commands from you with a grain of salt. They may follow your instructions because you are their parent's new boyfriend or girlfriend, but they may silently not like you for trying to be the new parental unit.

3. Be cordial with your significant other's ex-husband or ex-boyfriend. Nothing can cause tension in a room more than two people competing for the affection of another person, whether it's the previous wife of this guy or the current child. If you are rude to the children's parents, the children will recognize this and be rude right back to you.

4. Treat the children as human beings who have likes and dislikes. There are still old-fashioned parents who feel like children should be seen and not heard, but if your mate does not believe in this philosophy, you'll have a problem on your hands. Treat the children with the same (if not more) respect that your mate does. That doesn't mean you have to bow down and do everything the children enjoy, but consider their feelings.

5. Find out what the children enjoy. Sometimes all it takes is knowing the latest dance move or watching children's favorite cartoons to make the children feel like you're an okay person to hang out with. If you have to stomach sitting through a boring dance recital, bring coffee and try to enjoy yourself. If the relationship works out, those children will remember that you were there to spend valuable time with them.