How to Act On A First Date (For Men)

How should you act on first date? It's hard to know what women want sometimes! First dates are stressful for everone. If you follow a few simple rules and be yourself, however, you should get through the date feeling good about it and gaining the respect of the woman you are with (regardless of whether you want a second date).

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Make sure you have the basics covered - be on time, be positive, be polite and respectful, dress appropriately, and be prepared for the date (have a car, have money, have a phone). Now on to the specifics ...

2. Watch your language! Outdated language (like referring to her as a "lady") can be a turn-off. Swearing and bad grammer will not impress your date, either. Using fowl language around a woman may be construed as meaning you don't have much respect for her.

3. Put some thought into your date. If you ask a woman out, have some activity or restaurant in mind. You don't have to rigidly stick to a plan. But have in mind what you are going to do with her. A man who asks a woman out then leaves it up to the woman to orchestrate the date is not in least bit impressive.

4. Many men have a tendency to lecture or be forceful during conversation. Let your date speak. Relax and listen. Listening is SO important. If you don't care to listen, maybe you shouldn't be out on a date with her.

5. A woman does not like it at all if her date does not offer to pay first, or agrees to "split the bill" or readily accepts money toward the dinner check. Men, pay the restaurant bill, period. If you get to know this woman well, then she will treat you on occasion. But in general, it is the men's duty to pay first. Sure, you can let her pay, but women just don't like it. If a man lets a woman pay, especially on the first date, the woman feels the man is selfish, wimpy, not a man, or doesn't care about her. That's just the way it is. In my early twenties, I went out on a first date with a guy and I drove! I needed gas, so he offered to pump it. I thought, how nice, he's offering to pay for the gas at least. He got out, acted like a sexy gas pump attendant, pumped the gas, then suavely sidled up to my window with a big grin and asked me to pay please. I was not in the least bit impressed, but he was clueless. I gave him the cash and he went in and paid. Then we went to a cafe, where we split the bill. Afterward, we went to a bookstore where he treated himself to several books. Needless to say, I never called him again.

6. You be the one to drive. Don't let the woman drive you around in her car on a first date. Take charge and get in the driver's seat. Also, don't drive HER car.

7. Always open the door for the woman. That means car doors, too. There is never an exception to this rule. If you do not, then the woman will view you as being rude, immature, selfish, or just not into her.

8. If she looks glum, don't bombard her with questions such as, "What's a matter? You aren't having a good time? What! What is it? Why are you so quiet? Why don't you smile?" Just relax and leave her alone. If she looks disinterested, try your best to think of an interesting question to ask her about her life. Or suggest a cool activity to try together. If she doesn't perk up after you've tried for awhile, then it may be a good idea to try to wind the night down early. Be attentive to her verbal and nonverbal cues.

9. Try to keep the tone of the date lighthearted and fun. Do not get into any serious conversations, and steer cleer of dark moods. Also, do not make the mistake of getting too familiar with your date. She is not your mother or sister or girlfriend of 10 years, so keep your behavior in check.

10. 
     

    Never be too touchy feely on the first date. You are out for the first time, so keep respectable boundaries. Pretend you are out with a dear friend or your sister. Touching should be affectionate and casual.

11. Never try to kiss her at the end of the date. Let her make the first move. However, make it very easy for her to do so, should she wish. A guy who is too forceful or who is a cling-on at the end of the date is a big turnoff.

12. At the end of the date, if you drop her off at her home, do not drive away until she is safely inside and has turned the light on.

Tips & Warnings

• Watch a James Bond movie or two. Observe James Bond's impeccable manners. Emulate them.

[azwebdesigner]

on 11/28/2008 Great article. I'm always impressed with good manners and a considerate attitude. :)