How to Select/Write Sympathy Cards

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By QueenofMisc
eHow Community Member

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When expressing sentiments of sympathy, it can sometimes feel like you are doing a balancing act while simultaneously walking on eggshells; so use "kid gloves." The obvious reasons are that someone has suffered loss and you want to do everything in your power not to cause any further pain or heartbreak. Therefore, to select a sympathy card from the store or to write an original sympathy message/letter, consider the following:

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Step 1

How well do you know the person? If you don’t know them very well, remember that simplicity can go a long way. Selecting/writing a message with few, but warm and heartfelt words, will cause them to understand that you care and that you don’t want to cause further pain. If you select/write a card with a simple message, make sure the art work is also simplistic
Step 2

If you do know the person well, you might select/write a sympathy card based on what you know about them and how well they are coping with their loss. But no matter how well you know them and no matter what you decide to select/write as a sympathy card, you will still need to show the utmost respect. Resist any temptations to select/write a sympathy card that suggests any attitude which is less than appropriate considering the circumstance.
Step 3

If you select/write a sympathy card with many words, make sure that the person does not begin to feel encumbered just by trying to read through it. But if the individual likes cards with many words, still take time to read through the card yourself first, to make sure that it does not contain untoward words, phrases, ideas, thoughts, suggestions, or
any such language. Make sure the design of the card works well with the written message.
Step 4

Select/Write a sympathy card that gets the message of empathy across to the reader without causing them to feel confused. If you read through the card and feel confused about the interpretation of the message, it probably is not a good choice. A card along these lines could possibly feel like “just one more hurdle to climb” to the reader. And that is not a good thing.
Step 5

You can mail your sympathy card. Mailing it will lessen the potential of those awkward moments of not knowing what to say.
Step 6

If you deliver it by hand, put yourself on alert. Hand delivery could possibly present an occasion to share a short visit (or a longer visit if the person feels up to having company) If your hand delivery turns into a visit (short or long) be aware of your interaction with the individual. Although they may put on a brave front, they are still going through the healing process. Remember, you have “kid gloves” so don’t hesitate to use them. Carry yourself as if you are asking for permission to interface with them and others in their surroundings.
Step 7

If possible, include a monetary gift (whatever you can afford) with your card.
Step 8

Do not “nag” them to open the card in your presence, except for security purposes such as other relatives or friends who might take advantage of the situation.