Things You'll Need:
- Love
- Patience
- Paddle
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Step 1
Foreward: If you don't spend time with your child and treat them with respect, don't expect them to listen to you or treat you with respect. BUYING THINGS FOR YOUR CHILD IS NOT A SUBSTITUE FOR LOVE AND ATTENTION! Be the person you want your child to be. Do as I say and not as I do is a bunch of bull. If your child is acting up, look at yourself first.
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Step 2
Paddling is a last resort at our house. A paddling comes only after discussions and other forms of discipline have been used. The child needs to be aware that all else has failed.
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Step 3
Use a paddle that is wide enough not to bruise or injure the child. The paddle I made is 16" long (24" counting the handle) and 4" wide. NEVER use your hand unless their is no other option. When it comes to children, hands are for loving and helping.
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Step 4
NEVER paddle your child in anger. Calmly tell them that you are going to have to paddle them and have them retrieve the paddle. Don't raise your voice, yell or scream before, during or especially after the paddling.
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Step 5
Sit on the edge of the bed and calmly run through the circumstances that led up to the paddling. Remind them that you don't want to have to paddle them, but you have tried everything else and it didn't work. You need to be sympathetic but firm.
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Step 6
Have your child to lay on the bed on their stomach. Tell them how many pops they are going to get and make sure it is reasonable and fair in relation to what they did wrong.
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Step 7
Make them lay still while being paddled. This is very important so that you can place the paddle in the right place and also to teach them to accept responsibility for their actions. You may have to suggest more pops if they don't accept the ones they have coming. Don't fight or wrestle with you child. If they won't lay still, put them in time out instil they agree to cooperate.
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Step 8
Their behind will probably and understandably be clenched and tense. Tell them to relax. Pop them as soon as they do. A tense behind may cause pain in the muscles. I only want to cause stinging that will pass. A paddling should NEVER be felt the next day and really should only be a bad memory after 30 minutes.
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Step 9
Paddle your child carefully and deliberately. Make sure the paddle lands flatly. If you talk to them while paddling, keep your voice calm and firm.
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Step 10
Make sure it hurts. This might sound ludicrous, but if it doesn't hurt it won't be effective and may cause more resentment and anger. I don't like to paddle my children and they know that, so when I paddle them, I paddle them. paddlings are few and far between at our house. Sometimes as much as a year.
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Step 11
When you are finished, gently rub their back tell them that is it and to sit up. Sit on the bed next to them and give them a minute. Tell them again that you really don't like to paddle but you will if you have to. remind them that it is your job as a parent to teach them right from wrong and you will do what you have to do to help them learn.
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Step 12
Put the paddle up yourself and give them 15-20 minutes. Sit on the couch and call them over to spend some time snuggling. Words aren't really needed at this time, it has all been said. The child needs to see that they are forgiven and the moment is behind them. Our children will usually apologize at this point on their own after they snuggle up to us. I just tell them it's okay, we all make mistakes and we all learn.
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Step 13
When it's over, it's over. Let it go. At this point the child has let you down and gotten paddled, that's enough for them to live with. Besides, you talked yourself to death before the paddling trying to get them to listen so there is nothing else to say. The paddling was only to make them realize that they had to comply with the information they had all along.
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Step 14
Paddling is a last resort to be used in the right manner. My dad always told me that it hurt him more than it did me and he paddled me because he loved me. The way he yelled and screamed I never saw love, I saw anger. If you paddle your child the way I have layed out above, it will hurt you deeply. As the parent you are supposed to share your child's joy as well as their disappointments and pain.
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Step 15
There are people who do not believe in paddling. I am not here to argue with them. If they are able to keep their children on the right path without doing so, I give them my full support. However many of our school systems have armed Law Enforcement officer (under the guise of School resource officers). This is a sad commentary on the state of our children's minds.
Comments
painthorse42 said
on 12/9/2008 In my personal opinion, I think children are very different these days than they were years ago. My parents tell me about being in Catholic school and having their knuckles whacked with the ruler. Today one would be arrested for doing such a thing. In my opinion, I see nothing wrong with disciplining a child when needed, as long as it's in a respectful way (as is in this article). Very well writtn, Naked. Your tips are respected. 5*
aj1970 said
on 12/8/2008 Good article and you wrote it very well. You were not telling people to beat their kids in any way you are helping them understand when enough is enough.
Alishamitchum said
on 12/7/2008 I think your article is a great, aside from being well written, your points are good ones and spanking/paddling is not corpral punishment. We have to punish our children before they start running our lives! Great article!
anixon84 said
on 12/3/2008 That is the first thing on paddling I have ever heard that doesn't make it sound like corpral punishment! Very well written!
NakedWriter said
on 12/3/2008 I knew when I wrote this article that I was sticking my neck out. I started by saying "Paddling is a last resort at our house. A paddling comes only after discussions and other forms of discipline have been used. The child needs to be aware that all else has failed."
"My summary was "There are people who do not believe in paddling. I am not here to argue with them. If they are able to keep their children on the right path without doing so, I give them my full support."
I would hope to get the same support in return.