How to Be a Great Mother-in-Law

Member

By AlohaVikki
User-Submitted Article

Article Rating: (5 Ratings)

Need a little help in relating to your son or daughter-in-law? Then read on for some tips on how to start out on the right foot.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Thoughtfulness
Generosity
Self-control
Acceptance
love
compassion
unselfishness

Step 1

The time to share your worries about your son's (or daughter's) choice of a mate was before the marriage. Since they are now married, that relationship needs to be honored. Don't say anything negative about your new in-law. It won't change the situation at all but it will cause stress to the couple and the new in-law will not think too fondly of you.
Step 2

Find the good in the person and concentrate on those things. Accept her as a person who deserves love and respect. Let go of your idea of who you wanted this person to be and accept her for who she is. Your son loves her, so that should be enough for you to love her too.
Step 3

Be accepting. Don't demand perfection, remembering that you aren't perfect either.
Step 4

Avoid jealousy. Abdicate the throne of your son's heart to her, that is her rightful place. She is to be #1 and if she is not, that will cause stress in the relationship. Don't fight to be top woman in his life, that's not your place anymore. Abdicate the throne with grace.
Step 5

Be unselfish. Did you raise your son to just grow up and serve and take care of you for the rest of your days, or did you raise him to fulfill his destiny and purpose?
Step 6

Care more about your son's happiness than about your own loneliness or discomfort. Look for other ways to meet your needs. Maybe get involved with a church or volunteer somewhere so you can meet new people and form new friendships. Be happy for your son's happiness and support him in it. Don't steal this special joy away from him.
Step 7

Cut the apron strings. Don't try to run your son's life. He is an adult now and is responsible for himself. Don't give unsolicited advice, this will just be trampling on the toes of the spouse. Let them decide between themselves how to run their own lives.
Step 8

Keep the proper perspective. Instead of focusing on what you are "losing," realise that you are actually gaining a new daughter. Treat her like family. Show her love and respect. Remember that she wants to have a good relationship with you too.
Step 9

Be a blessing. Instead of thinking about what they can do for you, think about what you can do for them. Be a giver instead of a taker. A demanding, cynical, worry-wart will only drive the couple away. Don't become one.
Step 10

Give them plenty of privacy. The couple needs time and space to work things out between them and build a great life together.
Step 11

Be respectful of their time and energy. Call before you visit and set a time that would be good to drop by. Also, don't call up and expect your son to drop everything immediately so he can attend to you. Be considerate and set a time that would be convenient for everyone.