How to Help Your Adult Child Over Their Divorce

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By knewf
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Healing a broken heart can be tough

Perhaps there is no "death" more full of heartache and grief than a death of a marriage. When the partner who is wronged in a long time marriage is faced with the prospect of losing the one he or she loves, it is a shattering emotional crises. Here are some tools to help your adult child get through this traumatic event.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

patience
love
be willing to hug
be willing to listen
your child's doctor'S phone number
your child's pastor's phone number
a cellphone
time

Step 1

Be PRESENT in your child's life. Call daily if you are not able to be there physically, or call three times a day, this is not too much when there is this kind of crises. It is vital that he/she knows that you are there for them. If you are physically able to be there, be there in the morning and in the evening. Re-arrange your life for a little while. You did it when he was born, do it now.
Step 2

Touch, hug, and show with your body language that you care. Lean forwards and listen, every so often simply put your arm around his shoulder. Encourage your child to grieve, for without going through the stages of grief, a person can not heal and walk into the future.
Step 3

Insist that the person eats regularly. Food doesn"t taste good when you are stressed, so prepare the things that have always turned him on. Invite him out for lunch or dinner or take prepared food over to him.
Step 4

Watch closely and pick up on signs of suicidal thoughts. Face the person with this, make him promise to you that he will not do anything like that, and that he will call. And call his doctor and take him to the doctor, do whatever is necessary to get medical help. Also if your child has a church, get him in touch with the pastor. Get other family members or friends to help.
Step 5

Do not forget about the grandchildren, even if they also are adults. Their parents may not be able to help them out as much as you, a grandparent, can. Because you are a little bit farther 'away" from the crises. You need to be there for them as well.
Step 6

If your child has a job, encourage him to get up and go to work, or if he is self employed, help him get started on the daily tasks. Also help with the daily chores of living, the laundry, the trips to the grocery store. The crises of divorce can be so devastating that a person just can't function, focusing on doing the daily routine is a way for them to keep working through the crises, one day at a time.
Step 7

Invite him to family dinners, marshall the support of friends and close family members. Just getting together to watch a football game or have a family "game night", fill the "empty hours" and the "lonely hours" of evenings and weekends with family events or get togethers for awhile.