How to Discuss Estate Planning With Your Aging Parents

Will planning is not an easy topic to discuss, especially with those you love, but it needs to be done. Here are some ideas to help you approach it as sensitively as possible.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Lawyers

1. Allow your parents to bring up the topic of their will, even if you are uncomfortable with the subject matter. They may feel the need to talk about it with you.

2. Use tact when bringing up the issue. Explain to them that you just want to be sure their wishes are followed, and to know what to do in the event of an unexpected emergency.

3. Discuss the possibility of a living will ' a way to carry out the wishes of someone who is still alive, but unable to function or communicate.

4. Help them decide on an impartial, reliable executor ' preferably a trusted friend or colleague outside the immediate family. This person will handle their estate according to their instructions.

5. Arrange a family meeting to discuss any potential conflicts that may arise after your parents pass on.

6. Suggest that your parents contact a lawyer; some issues are generally too complicated for do-it-yourself will-planning packages, such as guardianship of a minor child or a disabled family member.

7. If your parents plan to pass along property to you, discuss the possibility of placing your name on the title during their lifetime; this will make the transition easier when the time comes, and may mean there are fewer taxes to pay, depending on your location.

8. If family heirlooms or jewelry are part of an estate, ask your parents to clarify these specific legacies in writing. This will ensure that each item goes where they want it to.

Tips & Warnings

• For simple wills, there are many good do-it-yourself kits available that allow you to avoid expensive legal fees.
• Some seniors choose to further detail their legacies by taping the intended recipient's name to the back of a piece of antique furniture or the bottom of a cherished figurine. This may seem somewhat macabre, but it offers a sense of closure to some people who want to be sure that their belongings go to the right people, especially within a large family.
• Make sure to find out what the law requires in your state or province; in some areas, wills are required to be notarized and/or registered to be valid.
• If trusts, complex legacies or large amounts of money are involved, you will need to get a lawyer to draw up the will.